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Apartment 3-G, 4/14/07

Many commentors and I are now all pretty much obsessed with comics characters birth order. I think it’s actually been established that Margo is an only child, and her rampant narcissism only serves as confirmation. (Similarly, Lu Ann the easily influenced eternal eight-year-old is clearly a youngest child, and introverted, conflict-averse Tommie a middle.) Margo probably doesn’t have much of a handle on sibling dynamics as a result, so let me offer her a warning: Eric’s sister is someone you want to get on your side, not someone you should be sizing up to figure out the best time to punch her in the throat, which is what you seem to be doing in the third panel.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/14/07

June’s look of despair in the third panel tells us that she knows exactly how little Dr. Morgan can be counted on to help anyone do anything. She’s dreading telling this chauffeur-cum-corporate intriguer that Rex is likely to be distracted on the way to the airport by some debonaire gentleman with greying temples and an avuncular manner. Or something shiny.

Dick Tracy, 4/14/07

Say what you will about Dick Tracy, but you have to admit that doesn’t shy away from action sequences that are (a) hyperviolent and (b) as demented as everything else in the strip, as this strip in which Dick engages in some kind of karate fight with a catsuited woman with the face of a playing card illustrates. Also, it has some of the best sound effects in the business. Surely SQLUD will go down in the history of great onomatopoeia with QWINK and QLUNQ.

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Zits and Sally Forth, 4/7/07

On Saturday, we reach the logical conclusion of the set-up from earlier this week. This may look like further disaster for the Forths, but all the pieces are actually falling neatly into place: Sally’s mother is left isolated in her hateful splendor to sleep on a futon, Jackie can spend two weeks baby-sitting Hilary, with her permissive lifestyle opening all sorts of new experiences up to her that her hyper-controlling parents would never allow, and Ted and Sally will finally get to take that trip to Paris. Connie and Walt, meanwhile, can just do it like bunnies, God bless ’em.

For Better Or For Worse, 4/7/07

See, now, here’s a mature attitude about marriage, you hedonists. It’s something to be endured and withstood with great suffering, something that will force you to move out of the comforting womb of your parents house no matter how hard to try to stay there, and, of course, something that should not include any yucky sex once you’re managed to produce the required pair of children. I hope you’re sufficiently shamed, Forths and Duncans!

Shoe, 4/7/07

Ha ha, it’s funny because … oh, wait, it’s not funny at all. “She’s actually outside right now, waiting for me to get some food. For the love of God, call the police! She’s insane!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/7/07

“Yes! Rex will engage him in thinly veiled homoerotic banter for days! We’ll have plenty of time to come up with an action plan!”

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You know, faithful readers e-mail me stuff all the time, or post links to things in the comments, much of which I’d like to feature but often forget to. I’ve had a pile of stuff sitting in my in-box now for a while, so here’s a bunch of funny stuff all at once!

First off, there was some discussion in the comments a while back about a long-ago National Lampoon newspaper spoof that targeted several of our favorite strips. Faithful reader Moon Mullins dug out his copy, scanned the strips, and sent ’em to me, and I repost them here for your memory-lane-travelling-down needs:

Also, faithful reader commodorejohn mashed up two of our favorite targets in They’ll FOOB It Every Time:

And hey! Did someone say “wacky YouTube videos”? Here’s a couple that found their way to me. The first is a super-surreal film school project called Rex Morgan, M.D.: The Motion Picture:

The second, Protectors of the Earth, answers the long-standing question, “What if Mark Trail, Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, and Garfield were a crime-fighting team?”

On an actually sort of educational tip, if you’re fascinated by those uncanny spoof editorial cartoons in the Onion, you might be interested in this story, in which LA Times opinionista (and faithful reader) Tim Cavanaugh tracks down the artist.

And finally, a faithful reader known only as “J.” felt I should see this (he claims it’s been floating around the Internet forever), and so I share it with all of you. Happy Tuesday, everybody!

UPDATE: Faithful reader Sakurai also did this awesome TDIET spoof: