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Gil Thorp, 1/7/18

So obviously we all knew that this billboards thing would end up as an attack on Coach Thorp, but I don’t think we were prepared for how hilariously nonspecific the accusations would end up being. “Wait!” cried Robby, of the titular report dot com. “I just meant ‘save the kids from his half-assed coaching!’” But it was too late: just hours after the #pizzagate and #qanon crowds saw the billboard posted on Reddit, the doxxing swiftly followed, and the angry mob had burned down the Thorps’ house, Kelly’s travel agency, and, just be safe, Milford High itself.

Mary Worth, 1/7/18

“I’m just going to wear these black armbands to symbolize my mourning for the trust in our marriage that’s now dead! He’ll get the hint!”

Shoe, 1/7/18

“And it seemed weird at first, but, like, we’re birds who wear clothes, you know? I mean, I’m wearing clothes. You’re wearing a shirt and shoes but no pants for whatever reason. Who can really explain the world-building here, right? Anyway, this dog is my sister, I guess.”

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Ahh, Sunday Mark Trail nature facts, what do you have for me this week?

Mark Trail panel 1, 10/28/18

“Very few!” That certainly sounds extremely reassuring.

Mark Trail panel 2, 10/28/18

Wait, WHAT. What the fuck. Holy shit. Savage. Child-sized. SQUAMATES????

Mark Trail, 10/28/18

WAIT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE AFRAID OF THESE HIGHLY INTELLIGENT LIZARDS OR NOT. ARE THEY FRIEND OR FOE. ARE THEY ONE OF THE VERY FEW KINDS OF LIZARD THAT POSE A THREAT TO HUMANS OR ARE THEY JUST A DANGER TO, LIKE, THE ECOSYSTEM OR WHATEVER BUT THEY’RE NOT ACTUALLY GONNA EAT US. LIKE I KNOW WE’RE PART OF THE ECOSYSTEM, ULTIMATELY, BUT LIKE ARE YOU USING “ECOSYSTEM” IN THAT REALLY INCLUSIVE SENSE HERE. PLEASE MARK I DEPEND ON YOU TO LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH I SHOULD PANIC

Shoe, 10/28/18

You know, I spend a lot of time on this blog musing about how the animals took over in Slylock Fox but next to none on the background of the bird-world of Shoe. And while I believe that the animal regime in Slylock was established by a sudden and violent revolution, I think that the Shoe bird-folk evolved to fill the niche left open after humanity went extinct on its own. The bird-men’s paleontological sciences are apparently underdeveloped, and they believe that many of the landscape modifications we left behind — the golf courses, for instance — are simply natural features of the landscape; the more religious among them see them as proof of a loving Bird-God who wants them to be happy, or, in this case, mildly frustrated.

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Shoe, 10/18/18

As a rule I hate Shoe strips set in fern bars where Shoe or the Perfersser hit on some sexy bird-woman and then wordplay happens, but I’m willing to make an exception in this case. First of all, notice that the Perfesser has his laptop open on the bar, showing that he’s spending his evening engaging in a little light embezzlement while throwing back a few cold ones. Then there’s the look of sudden urgency on his face, as if his opening line wasn’t meant as flirting it all, but something much darker. “Can you think of a way I can get the Treetops Tribune to reimburse me for $750 I lost at the dog track? Please, they’re gonna take my thumbs!”

Dick Tracy, 10/18/18

Oh man, it seems “Pauly” is some dude who looks significantly older than Dick Tracy, and yet is somehow seeking revenge for the death of his father, “Crutch,” who Dick Tracy probably killed. You can only see his face in the flashback-orb but I assume they called him “Crutch” because he was on crutches, and Dick gunned him down back in the early days of the strip when it was OK for a comics protagonist to be an open eugenicist. Anyway, since “this” turns out to be “failing to kill Dick Tracy, keeping his granddaughter and her friend safe, and getting killed yourself,” it’s not exactly the greatest act of revenge ever and you might not want to proudly proclaim it as such as you expire in your family enemy’s arms.