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Gil Thorp, 10/30/10

The Mystery Of What Exactly Cody Exner Is Doing Down At The Park is temporarily on hold, because at last we’re going to get a solution to another mystery, one that’s been brewing ever since Jamaar “The Ghost” Gaddis appeared in the strip a year or two ago, namely The Mystery Of Why Jamaar Is Such A Dick. Turns out it’s because he’s consumed with rage against the cruel God who made him such a wee fellow! But both mysteries may be dovetailing together with the image of a sweaty, crazy-eyed Cody in panel three. Perhaps Cody has been stealing away to the park to conduct his secretive experiments in mad science, and he’s in ecstasy now that he realizes that he’s finally found a willing subject for injection with his dangerous, untested embigiffication serum.

Dick Tracy, 10/30/10

So it seems that David Dierdorf D’Buckworth took on the life of a fake hobo who hands out huge sums of money because he couldn’t stand his wife. Which totally makes sense! Women, am I right, fellas? Can’t live with ’em, so you might as well pretend to be homeless! Haw haw! Anyway, now she’s going to shoot him in the face.

Slylock Fox, 10/30/10

Hey, kids, remember, have a safe Halloween! Always go out in groups! Stick close with your family! And be sure to pop unexpectedly out of a jack-o-lantern, with eyes the size of dinner plates, waving a knife around and gibbering like a maniac, which should go over well with everybody.

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Slylock Fox, 10/16/10

Oh, hi, kids, while you’re busy trying to remember which organs participate the digestive process, this doctor and nurse are just going to look on in undisguised horror at something at the back of this poor man’s throat. Whatever it is must be truly and spectacularly large, as the nurse can apparently see it from across the room. Is it the biggest tumor either of these longtime medical professionals have ever seen? Is it a glowing sac of alien eggs dangling from his uvula? Or maybe it’s not something visible — maybe it’s the awful stench of death evident on his breath. Whatever the case, when I see expressions like this on the faces of health practitioners, I expect the subject to be immediately placed in an isolation chamber and whisked away to a secret NSA lab by top government scientists.

Popeye, 10/16/10

I generally only mention Popeye here when produces something that’s hilarious out of context, and I think today’s meeting of old acquaintances (and former lovers?) “Poopdeck Pappy” and “Tuna Salad” fits the bill.

Mark Trail, 10/16/10

Wow, I was all worked up about some discrepancies in adherence hunting safety rules in yesterday’s Mark Trail, but now that our hero has covered twenty yards or more, leaping over a fence in the process, and hurled himself directly in front of someone who’s about to fire a rifle, I now know that safety is quite obviously the last thing on anybody’s mind here. Carry on, lunatics!

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Dennis the Menace, 10/4/10

The Mitchells’ pastor ought to be concerned about young Dennis’ decision to turn away from the Christian God and instead offer his worship to Skynet, the superintelligent computer network that will soon destroy us all.

Jumble, 10/4/10

As usual, I’m too dumb to actually solve the Jumble, but I do want to point out that “vomiting” would fit into the solution blanks nicely.

Luann, 10/4/10

After setting this foolproof plan in motion, TJ will head off to his job as a master cat burglar/puppeteer.

Mary Worth, 10/4/10

Let’s hope Jill Black at the hospital has some knife fighting experience, if that oh no nobody’s horning in on MY meddle expression on Mary’s face in panel two foreshadows things to come (and please, please, let it foreshadow things to come).

Slylock Fox, 10/4/10

Shady’s new membership in the Bloods is about to be revoked with extreme prejudice after the other gang members find out he obsessively hoards golden kitty-kat figurines.

Crankshaft, 10/4/10

“Also, we might occasionally be allowed to experience joy!”