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Blondie, 11/16/20

I strongly agree with the consensus here: this is a disturbing daydream! I feel like I need to know more details in order to really gauge the contours of how disturbing it is, though. The “no doors” thing is the most disturbing part by far, and is the key to whole scenario. Like, did they just wake up there together with no way out, slowly coming to terms with the fact that they’re trapped with each other in some Sartre-esque office hell? Or were they dropped down into a roofless office from above, and expected to fight each other to the death for the amusement of a hooting crowd of spectators?

Slylock Fox, 11/16/20

The first time I commented on this strip, I had a lot of thoughts about how Max could maximize his fashion potential at this seaside wedding blowout. But this time around, all I could think was: Max, are you seriously considering upstaging the bride by wearing white? How dare you!

Dennis the Menace, 11/16/20

The most menacing thing here is how grateful the piggy bank looks for Dennis’s promise to never trade him in for a wallet (Dennis is definitely going to trade him in for a wallet).

Family Circus, 11/16/20

I’ve never fully understood what the deal is supposed to be with Jeffy, an actual toddler, wearing cuffed jeans and penny loafers around the house at all times, but I will say that the look is not improved by shirtlessness.

Dick Tracy, 11/16/20

Oh, by the way, Neo-Chicago is blanketed by drones allowing omnipresent, crystal-clear police surveillance of everyone at all times, just in case you were wondering!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/10/20

Oh, hey, remember Red? Red was a guy who tried, in an extremely pathetic and non-threatening way, to mug Jordan and Michelle, but then it turned out he was an old high school classmate of Jordan’s, and was also a veteran suffering from both PTSD and hallucinations brought on by kidney disease, so he was reunited with his family and got a kidney transplant, which was, as I probably don’t have to tell you as it took place in Rex Morgan, M.D., boring. Jordan promised to take Red on as a cook in his new restaurant, and honestly the most interesting thing about the whole story is that Red’s drama somehow took the focus off the fact that Jordan had engaged in a little light stolen valor, so my tenuous hope was that Red and Jordan would start trading some (literal) war stories and this would all come out, but instead there’s just going to be a lot of healthy diet talk, zzzzzzzz.

Funky Winkerbean, 11/10/20

I had assumed Harry had taken up teaching music again because he loved it so much that he couldn’t bear the thought of stepping away forever, despite his hearing loss, but no, it actually appears he’s as miserable about this situation as his poor student is. So is he doing it for … money? Does he need money? Honestly, it’s a real relief to learn that he doesn’t get paid for all the time he spends hanging around Westview High irritating the actual band teacher.

Slylock Fox, 11/10/20

Fellas! Are you looking for a chore to do that will beautify the neighborhood and have the ladies swooning? Think about painting a fence!

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Beetle Bailey, 9/30/20

You’d think that General Halftrack, who has an extremely cushy job and despite his high military rank seems neither to have never been to war himself nor to have ever been burdened with the responsibility of sending others to fight, would sleep easily at night, or, for that matter, in the afternoon. Turns out nope! Turns out his mind is haunted by unimaginable horrors. That’s why he drinks so much, probably!

Slylock Fox, 9/30/20

For too long, the cartoon community has stigmatized people who live on tiny tropical islands as haggard castaways who yearn only to return to civilization — or, worse, are driven insane by their isolation. What about those who like the islet lifestyle, who have perfectly seaworthy rowboats at their disposal and yet still choose to embrace their exile from humanity and enjoy the benefits for an occasional cetacean shower? Finally, they have their own media representation!