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UPDATE: Holy cow, against all expectations, I sold out of these! Thanks so much, guys — books will ship out later this week. If you’re looking to buy non-damaged, non-discounted versions, try here or here, or, if you love the Amazonian behemoth, here.

Hi all! If you read my exhaustive breakdown of how much I made and spent on my Kickstarted novel, you might’ve noticed I mentioned that some of the hardcover books arrived from the printer damaged. The defects were enough that TopatoCo didn’t feel comfortable selling them, but are also fairly minor. Here’s one of the damaged books:

The defect is a split in the material of the cover at the top left — here’s a close up:

While sub-optimal, this split doesn’t seem to be causing the book to come apart or anything like that. And so, for those of you who saw the Kickstarter and said “Enh,” and then saw the book for sale and still said “Enh,” I’m offering these slightly damaged hardcovers at steep discounts! Instead of the $25 plus shipping you’d pay retail, you can get these for a mere $9, plus $3.09 shipping and handling, while supplies last! Click the link below to buy — you’ll go through PayPal, but you don’t need a PayPal account to purchase the book, just a credit card.

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Mark Trail, 8/22/16

Is it sad, Mark? Is it really? Sad for the bats, maybe. Not sad for Woods and Wildlife Magazine’s clickthrough rate. Your article, given the snappy title “It Can’t Be Stopped. It Can’t Be Cured. And It’s Killing Every Bat On Earth” by W&W’s Associate Engagement Editor, saw a huge uptick on social sharing sites, with over 40% of readers scrolling far enough into it to register ad impressions in two different sponsorship zones. Bill’s looking for more Facebook-friendly click-harvesting hits from you — in fact, he’s hoping to get at least two of them out of your trip, tentatively titled “How Invasive Fire Ants Made Our Vacation A Tropical Hell” and “Boatsplosion! [VIDEO]”

Spider-Man, 8/22/16

“Oh, my! You’re looking for me? Hank Pym? The former Ant-Man? However did you track me down to the prominently labelled Pym Annex? Was it by following my nondescript car, which was assigned the ANTPYM license plate wholly by coincidence? I do value my privacy, but of course I’ll sign a glossy photo of myself for you. Oh, you don’t have one? Don’t worry, I have a whole drawer full of them, here at the Pym Annex.”

Funky Winkerbean, 8/22/16

Traditionally, Funky Winkerbean deaths have been agonizingly drawn out, which is why I’m really looking forward to Bull abruptly dropping dead from a rage-stroke by Thursday.

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Marvin, 8/21/16

Marvin, you made me laugh. Not with your actual punchline, or the long, belabored lead-up to it. No, what made me laugh was Marvin, apropos of nothing and clearly as bored with his parents as we are, thinking “I want a hot dog!” How often do I have that same thought? Several times a day, to be honest! Shoutout to the Marvin comic of Sunday, August 21, 2016, for creating a moment in which I found its title character actually relatable.

Spider-Man, 8/21/16

I’m an on-the-record fan of the Sunday Spider-Man NEXT! box, but this … this is not its best work. Hey, it’s OK, NEXT! box, I of all people know the pressure of coming up with something funny to say week after week. Sometimes you just have to say “Fuck, so, he’s … going to the ant?” and move on with your life.