Post Content

Dennis the Menace, 11/18/16

There are few things more menacing in this world than basically saying “Enh, what if our son is just stupid?” right in front of him at dinner! It’s a really nice touch for Dennis to be staring dumbly up at his dad while he says it, letting a big strand of drool dribble down his lips, as if to play it up, make them feel bad for not underestimating or overestimating him, but for estimating him exactly right.

The Lockhorns, 11/18/16

Not sure why I found this Pokémon reference so much funnier than yesterday’s in Beetle Bailey. I guess it’s because I blame Beetle Bailey being extremely late to the joke on the Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC staff, whereas here I think it’s supposed to be Leroy himself behind on the times. “Uh, Loretta, uh, I’m here at this bar drunk on a weekday and I didn’t tell you where I was because of [rummages around brain, stumbles upon a thing he heard about on TV once] the Pokemon game.” (Please imagine this dialogue being read in an affectless monotone for maximum effect.)

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/17/16

Oh, whoops, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on the Great Frozen Money Dementia Caper, have I? Well, here’s the short version: Milton met up with a dude who dumped him at the bus station, not before switching jackets, leaving Milton with the dude’s cell phone and the dude with Milton’s cash. This was exactly as boring as it sounds, until today when we abruptly smash cut to Scooter living a life of comically PG-13 debauchery at Morgantown’s finest “Gentlemen’s Club” (legally, they can’t call it a strip club because nobody takes their clothes off).

Dick Tracy, 11/17/16

Both of America’s citizens with Lunarian DNA have been lying low in Diet Smith’s heavily fortified compound ever since the unpleasantness, but apparently Mysta still gets to drive out into the world occasionally to pick up “the magazines.” I have to say that it makes me respect Diet a lot less as a genius inventor, and respect the Lunarians a lot less as a futuristic menace, to learn that none of them have ever heard of the Internet, a network that can, among other things, allow you to read the magazines on your computer.

Spider-Man, 11/17/16

Yesterday’s Spider-Man would’ve been a great final slapstick moment for this plot, which really makes it too bad that it was accidentally published on Wednesday. Now they’ve got four days of narrative dead space to fill! I predict that by Sunday Peter and Scott will be making out, just to put an end to the awkward pauses.

Beetle Bailey, 11/17/16

Not sure what exactly can get the hired hands toiling at flaccid long-running legacy comic strips to feel shame, but I sincerely hope that getting beat to a pop culture joke by the Family Circus by two and a half months is on this list.

Post Content

Spider-Man, 11/16/16

You know that normally I’d be very in favor of a punchline panel in Newspaper Spider-Man where our heroes mope wordlessly. But as a transit rider and advocate, I must protest against a train ride being used as visual equivalent of a sad trombone. Especially in the New York City region! Why, Peter and Scott will be back home in Queens while Jonah and Hank are still stuck on the Long Island Expressway, Jonah shouting furiously at his driver and other cars while Hank scrunches down in his seat and pretends not to notice.

It’s also obviously way too soon for the first Daily Bugle under J. Jonah Jameson’s new regime to have come out, so I assume the banner headline in the paper Scott is reading is over a story about how New York is now for the first time in years entirely free of Ant-Men. Gonna be an awkward correction at the bottom of page C-12 tomorrow!

Crock, 11/16/16

It does take some warming up to, but Wadsworth is laying out his people’s philosophy in a nutshell. Vultures don’t believe in fairies or make believe. They believe in each other, and their own ability to make this world a better place for themselves and their families. They believe they’re capable of anything, even getting money when their baby teeth fall out despite the fact that they don’t have any teeth.

Pluggers, 11/16/16

One of the longstanding mysteries of Pluggers can be summed up pretty simply: what is a plugger, exactly? Today’s strip I think encapsulates it nicely: a plugger is someone young enough that they still know people who move and old enough that they know a lot of people who are dying, and also someone who hasn’t figured out that you can put addresses into your computer now.