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Hello everybody! I am going to be hosting a new comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, in which the gimmick is that every act must include some material (text, audio, video, WHATEVER) that performers found on the Internet. Do you want to see these performers? Of course! Do you want to be one of those performers? You can be! The first two shows are July 14th and July 28th, at The Clubhouse in Los Feliz, and, assuming all goes well, I’ll be doing two shows a month indefinitely, forever! So I need acts! I have some cool folks lined up for the first couple shows, but I need more! If you have an idea for Internet-based comedy performance of some kind, pitch me at jfruh@jfruh.com!

I did this show once before in Baltimore and it was really fun. Some examples of the acts from that show, to get your ideas rolling:

• A slideshow of the Worst Dudes On OkCupid!
• A dramatic reading of discussion group drama over organizing a furry convention!
• An up-and-coming writer pitches a movie executive on his new film, using the Wikipedia plot summary of an extremely bad movie!
• A guessing game where you have to tell what’s going on in a Craigslist personal ad when all the gender identifying information has been taken out!
• A multimedia spoken word piece based on a series of insane emails a director/crazy person kept sending to the staff of a film festival, even though he was told to stop!

OK, you get the picture! Again, if you would like to be in the show and are free on the 14th or 28th (or future second and fourth Thursdays of the month), email me at jfruh@jfruh.com!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/28/16

Haha, whoops! It looks like Sarah isn’t an uncanny little child-genius best-selling author after all! Nope, it seems her mob patron is just buying up all her books, for some inscrutable but no doubt extremely sinister purpose. My bet is “one component in a large money laundering scheme” but “a way to forever tie Sarah to her criminal enterprise through a web of unsought obligations” is a solid possibility too, and heck, who says it can’t be both!

Six Chix, 6/28/16

Hello, comics reader! Have you ever eaten food that you purchased in a restaurant? Well, Six Chix would like you to know that it was full of the grossest stuff you can think of.

Pluggers, 6/28/16

Pluggers are just really dirty, really just covered with all sorts of nasty stains. Pluggers!

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Mark Trail, 6/27/16

Oh man, so after dragging on for a really long time, the Mark Trail cave adventure ended … extremely abruptly? Mark swam out through an underground passage and then Gabe and Carina followed shortly afterwards and they all emerged in the Rio Grande, the end! Suddenly, two years earlier, some wealthy couple is wrapping up their South Seas cruise on their gynormous yacht. The key questions we need to ask ourselves: Why are we seeing this in flashback? Will Mark and company stumble upon the wreckage of this yacht in the present, and need to figure out why it exploded? Because let’s make one thing absolutely clear: that boat is definitely going to explode.

Slylock Fox, 6/27/16

Oh my God, this is the most horrifying Slylock Fox mystery solution yet. We now know that the animapocalypse granted sapience to animals at all levels of the food chain, no matter how short their lifespan. “Here, try this so-called ‘magic potion,'” Slylock says to the mayfly, its mind already in a constant whirling panic over its impending mortality. “Maybe you’ll be able to stave off your inevitable death for another few days! Please, it’s for science.”

Crankshaft, 6/27/16

Newspaper comics creators have of course sworn a solemn oath to protect their shrinking revenues from print syndication: they must never read newspapers online. Some of them refuse to even acknowledge that newspapers put their articles on the internet; others, like Crankshaft, realize that this is an important part of the modern media landscape, but have no idea how online news works, per se. Fun fact: my very first grown-up job was at an “online magazine” where we published like 16-20 articles a month, and we published them to our website all at the same time, on the 20th of each month! This was in 1999.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/27/16

“What? No, they’re going to cut our funding. What the hell is wrong with you?”