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Beetle Bailey, 11/29/15

Usually Saturday is the day Beetle Bailey sets aside for strips about the Halftracks’ awful, loveless marriage, but you have to really give the creative team kudos for using the full scope of a Sunday strip to hammer home how truly hellish this relationship is. My favorite part is the topical shift as we move from the second to the third tier of panels: sure, the General’s marriage is explicitly acknowledged as a prison, but his supposed hobby, the sort of thing one usually engages in for enjoyment, is also a punishment. The only solution is to numb the body and mind with alcohol! Anyway, I know there’s a lot of awful things happening in the world right now, but I honestly think this strip should be in the running for The Grimmest Shit In The Newspaper Today.

Panels from Slylock Fox, 11/29/15

In the top panel, the abruptly Awoken animals are using their newfound sapience to try to come to an understanding with the humans, to create a new, balanced form of existence in which all species can live in harmony. In the bottom panel, the animals are merely establishing an insincere truce under which they will gather their strength for the inevitable violent uprising that will wipe humanity from the planet. I don’t really think the other five differences matter all that much.

Judge Parker, 11/29/15

Years ago, back when Sophie was prepubescent weirdo savant rather than an alpha-cheerleader mean girl, she cheerfully admitted to spying on Neddy while she was doing “that tongue thing” with some now long-forgotten boy. Voyeuristically keeping tabs on Neddy’s sex life is a Spencer-Driver family value, is what I’m trying to say.

Funky Winkerbean, 11/29/15

Long story short, Cayla, the answer to your initial question is “not well.”

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Mary Worth, 11/28/15

Oh my goodness, Mary is quoting notorious drug musician George Harrison to little Olive! How can a dignified, mature woman possibly think this is healthy for a young person to he– wait, what’s that? Mary was born sixty-something years ago, according to King Features? Which means that Mary was somewhere been 15 and 24 when George Harrison’s All Things Must Pass was released? Which makes it not unlikely that Mary herself has done a lot of drugs? Well, huh. Huh.

Pluggers, 11/28/15

Pluggers know that no tawdry sexual encounter can match the sheer erotic pleasure of maintaining a lucid stream of thought for the amount of time it takes to walk from one room to another.

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Hey guys, due to cross-country travel this Thanksgiving week, I’m taking a break from curating the week’s top comments. Still, it being Thanksgiving and all, I need to give big thanks both to those kind enough to put some cash in my tip jar, and to our advertisers:

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