Post Content

Mark Trail, 6/30/15

OK, so, that shark that Ken was all excited to catch? Well, he wasn’t going to kill it, he’s not a monster, he loves animals just like his beloved squirrel-feeding Kelly does. Ken just wanted to best the shark in combat so he’d feel like a big man, but then he was going to throw it back. That’s why it’s super disappointing that this shark he caught is already dead! This dead shark has Mark Trail written all over it, which I assume means that Ken’s going to call in Mark to solve the Mystery of the Dead Shark, which is probably going to boil down to “Hey, uh, Ken, sometimes sharks die, you know?”

Hi and Lois, 6/30/15

“How can something that seems good to me not always be good in all cases?” Trixie will be stuck in the body of a baby, which makes her halting moves towards an adult understanding of the world all the more heart-rending.

Dennis the Menace, 6/30/15

Always the smart one, Margaret recognizes that her entire universe is built out of worn-out tropes and borrowed memes. The true menace is the crushing banality of it all.

Post Content

Hi and Lois, 6/29/15

As Hi and Lois slowly retreats to its retro roots, the Thurstons are also starting to fulfill their role from a less genteel age: not only is Thirsty an unpleasant drunk once again, but the childless couple are also depicted as being just a little less classy overall than the Flagstons, and I mean “classy” as in economic class. Sure, they live in an identical suburban house next door, but there are hints. That patch on the chair, for instance: Lois would never permit anything so shabby in her home! The family dynamic that has Irma doing yoga in the living room of what I assume to be a multi-bedroom house specifically to annoy her husband is another issue altogether, as is the fact that Hi immediately says “that’s good, right?” to Thirsty’s announcement.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/29/15

Ah, let’s check back in with Cindy’s story, which it’s my understanding is about … how young people are terrible to old people? Hmmm, something seems off here, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Heathcliff, 6/29/15

Ooh! Ooh! I know! He got them from a genie! Man, I’m really enjoying Heathcliff’s new arc-driven storytelling style.

Pluggers, 6/29/15

“Wow, this section is full of misdirected lower-middle-class cultural resentment! Wouldn’t want you reading any of that.”

Crankshaft, 6/29/15

Don’t you miss the good ol’ days, when a soldier could be violently beat up day after day in the comics and no meddling politicians would disapprove?

Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/28/15

You know how big a fan I am of weird contextless quotes in Mary Worth, so you can imagine my absolute delight in discovering that today’s inspirational aphorism comes from Marshal Foch, the supreme commander of Allied forces on the Western Front during World War I. I’m not sure why he would’ve said this, but I choose to believe that it was in some recently declassified top-secret document in which he proposed, if Hundred Days Offensive were to end in stalemate like all the others, to reanimate the souls of the Allied war dead, set the phantasms ablaze, and have them charge eerily across No-Man’s-Land at the terrified Germans.

Anyway, obviously I thought it wasn’t ever going to get better than that image, but that was before I arrived at the final panel, in which Adam and Terry don’t even briefly pretend to be unnerved by a violent criminal, instead just cracking wise as they prepare to karate-chop him to death. I sincerely wish this comic could just sort of freeze-frame right at this moment and the credits begin to roll up, like it’s the end of the pilot of a ’70s romantic cop drama.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 6/28/15

Or maybe if he’s too proud or dumb, they’ll just watch him suffocate to death, through the transparent walls of that safe! Today’s Slylock Fox is super grim, guys.

Barney Google and Snuff Smith, 6/28/15

Jughaid just wants to stay home … in the bowels of hell itself.