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Six Chix, 4/16/15

I genuinely love both the sly expression this woman is wearing — “Oh, you clever capitalists, I see what you’re doing with this and while I don’t approve I can’t help but admire your cunning” — and the advertising slogan “NEW! YUMMY! EAT YOUR CUP!” which honestly should be the structure for the ad campaign for every new product ever introduced by anybody.

Heathcliff, 4/16/15

Yes, cats have learned to harness the power of the mighty oxen! Things are getting quite serious … indeed.

Funky Winkerbean, 4/16/15

GOD DAMN IT THE CORRECT PLURAL IS “AMAZING MISTERS SPONGE”

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Mary Worth, 4/15/15

Nice to see that the “Adam is a stalker who just straight-up moved into his ex’s apartment complex without telling her to woo her back” aspect of this storyline hasn’t been dropped! Adam has room for only one creepy, all-consuming emotional attachment in his life at a time, people. Now that he’s physically incapable of foiling the many, many assassination attempts against Congressman McDugal, all that energy will be directed at loving Terry with a laser-focused, un-asked-for intensity that makes all other loves look like a pile of hot garbage by comparison. BRACE YOURSELF FOR THE LOVING, TERRY.

Phantom, 4/15/15

So it looks like the Phantom’s long bout of amnesia is finally going to be cured by … hearing a bunch of people say “walker”? As in “Ghost-Who-Walks?” This just makes Bangalla’s outdated state-run television service’s failure to acquire rights to AMC’s hit show The Walking Dead all the more tragic.

Beetle Bailey, 4/15/15

Not one crude drawing of a woman must be allowed to remain unsexualized! Not on Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industry LLC’s watch!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/15/15

Surely Cuzzin Irvin is aware that he (or at least his cuzzin) lives in an enclave of violent anti-government extremists? This is like one of those tragic stories where someone who happens to like wearing blue bandanas wanders into the wrong gang’s territory.

Herb and Jamaal, 4/15/15

“And none of us ever saw him again.”

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Pluggers, 4/14/15

This panel isn’t quite as in-your-face as all-time Depressing Pluggers Classics like “Rhino Man Hocks His TV” and “Kangaroo Woman Is At The Emotional Breaking Point”, but in its own low-key way it’s pretty fantastic. We used to build things in this country, you see; we used to work on loud factory floors where we could talk and whistle and laugh over the sounds of the machines, and nobody would complain. Now we tuck our polo shirts into our khakis and work in cube farms that are quiet as the grave, where we stare silently at our screens all day and when we’re done with that, we just look at the screens on our damn phones, and we put little jokey jokes up on Twitter, as if that means anything to anybody, anywhere.

Crankshaft, 4/14/15

I love how genuinely and innocently surprised Ralph looks in the second panel. “Wait, I could do that? Why, that would be much easier!”