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Are the goalposts edible? And would it stop Dagwood if they weren’t?

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Blondie, 8/3/23

It’s a little unsettling that Blondie just produces this elaborate sandwich tray out of nowhere between the second and third panels. I’m imagining her humming softly to herself as she made it over the course of the quiet morning before these ladies showed up, thinking, with increasing anticipation, about her husband “going away” as football season got into swing. Oh, sure, he’d be there, physically, for the most part. But she’d sure have to deal with him a lot less. “How nice! Where are they going?” she asks, innocently, hoping to have found others in the same predicament.

Dennis the Menace, 8/3/23

Sure, this seems pretty treacly at first glance, but I’m going to go ahead and ID as at least mildly menacing a scenario where a couple of unaccompanied children and an unleashed dog are wandering around the countryside, pulling a wagon with a makeshift weapon in it.

Family Circus, 8/3/23

BILLY KEANE: FAIR-WEATHER PATRIOT

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Crows are terrified by merchant capitalism, it’s true

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Gil Thorp, 8/2/23

God, can you imagine being part of an institution so dehumanizing and destructive to your identity that it strips your very name away from you, leaving you nothing but a number for identification? And then also, in a mostly unrelated matter, you were prison? Ha ha, I kid, but seriously, it’s a good thing Marty is sober now because in the old days there is absolutely no chance that he’d be able to keep track of two sets of numbers while doing the play by play.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/2/23

I was going to question why Silas’s general store, literally the only retail outlet in town, would even need to advertise, but then I realized that the residents of Hootin’ Holler need occasional reminders that they have access to a place where money can be exchanged for goods; it’s only recently that the community has taken the first tentative steps beyond its traditional subsistence agriculture/chicken theft economy.

Blondie, 8/2/23

Sorry, guys, Marx says that the struggle of class against class is a political struggle, so you are definitely discussing politics.

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Need to break out of this “Oops! All prophecies!” narrative loop

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The Phantom, 8/1/23

The current Phantom storyline, broadly defined, has consisted of Old Man Mozz prophesying for our hero multiple different versions of how his plan to spring pirate, but for good/sexual-tension-with-the-Phantom-haver Savarna from Gravelines prison might work out. They all work out bad, in the long run, due to various Dramatic Ironies, but our hero has decided to go for it anyway, or at least I think so, because we’ve had long versions of the story play out in the strip before that have just turned out to be Mozz’s narrative and not the “real” action in the strip, and maybe this time will work out the same. But my point is that this night, and its consequences across branching timelines, has been going on more than two years at this point, so I wouldn’t say it’s ended too soon at all! I think we could pretty much wrap it up, if I’m being blunt about it.

Gil Thorp, 8/1/23

Good news, Toby! Thanks to the Supreme Court’s unanimous decision in NCAA v. Alston, college athletes can now profit from endorsement deals, so on the off chance that this year’s last place Conference USA program decides to juice interest and alumni donations by recruiting the kids who played in “that child prison football game that they ended up having all the Congressional hearings about,” you’ll be able to do sponcon on your Insta and TikTok accounts, probably for vape cartridge manufacturers. Everybody wins!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/1/23

Can one law enforcement officer truly keep on top of fishcrime, beastcrime, and mancrime? Truly this is an impossible task!