Post Content

Hello all! Your COTW in a moment, but first … your boy Josh has somehow become banned from Twitter? And was given no specific reason why or told anything about any specific bad tweets I did? I just got a note saying that “your account broke the Twitter Rules,” even though I am in fact a very good boy? As you may have heard things are somewhat in, uh, disarray over there, but if you happen to know one of the people who still works there (or maybe are one of those people), I would appreciate it if you’d put in a good work for my appeal! If it doesn’t work out and I never return to Twitter or “X dot com” or whatever it ends up becoming, ah well, life is a rich tapestry, and also I am now on Bluesky if that’s a site you use.

Meanwhile! Here is your comment … of the week!

SHOOTER AT LARGE PRINT FACTORY! PLEASE HELP US” –Lark L

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Think this one through, Saul. Do you really want to be friends with some kind of weirdo who doesn’t wear the same accessory as her dog?” –jroggs

“Apparently it hurts Billy to think, which seems perfectly on-brand.” –Francisco Arrowroot

“The most traumatic part of Rex’s day has to be right at the beginning, when he wakes up knowing that two of his hairs are slightly out of place. He immediately glues them into obedience before even brushing his teeth. It’s priority one with him.” –Joe Blevins

“This is what happens when kids are in and out of the judicial system. They pick up courtroom slang. Oyez!” –Little Blue Bicycle

Didn’t mean to make a joke — your eye injury is still serious. Now … about my eye-popping fee…” –Kevin On Earth

“I’m not sure Rex Morgan, M.D., should lean so hard into the contrast between the main character, who we have to read about every day, and the guy who is amusing and does things that people enjoy watching.” –matt w

“Hey, listen, Billy — unless you’ve have some major grinding time, that spoon‘s not going to make it as a shiv. Go for the fork, Billy. Do it. DO IT.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I see Dennis and his mother are dining at the English Eatery, home of the famous Bloomin’ Hedgehog, an entire hedgehog deep fried and served up with ketchup! Dennis is about to enjoy one with his burger (guaranteed* to be BSE-free), while his mother has opted for the blood pudding soup. [* Guarantee not valid in former colonies.]” –Voshkod

“At least with a slider, you’re assured of a smooth delivery. If it were a Big Mac™, it might require a c-section. I don’t want to think about the complications involved in the delivery of a McDLT.” –taig

“How come the Juvenile Detention Center gets to have a state-of-the-art indoor sports arena, but the high school doesn’t even have its own ferris wheel?” –made of wince

“‘Anyway, I came to realize that there’s more dramatic tension in a medical emergency than, say, a story about a grown man trying to take credit for a child’s writing. Sure, the latter is funnier but I’d like to take center stage in my own strip again and rely less on giant men faking gastrointestinal distress, Muddy Boots, or Buck.’ ‘Aren’t you worried this will mean spending less time with your children, Dr. Morgan?’ ‘My what?’” –Tabby Lavalamp

“‘I’m aware’ = ‘I have spent the past several days trying to clear up the legal and logistical mess created when you barged in to our ER and commandeered an operating room, and I’m nowhere near to being done.’” –TheDiva

“Jesus, how would you even begin to answer a question like that? Like, I can’t even tell where their torsos end and their heads begin, how would you even define what constitutes a ‘bottom’ for these lumpy creatures?” –pugfuggly

“You’d think Dennis would be more excited by a second chance to kill Lincoln. Menace factor: 0.” –Hibbleton

“Based on the round mark on top of his hat, Mr. Wilson is part of the I Corps, which had a circle as its corps badge. The I Corps had a noble heritage despite being taken away from the Army of the Potomac during the Peninsula Campaign. Certainly the I Corps — renamed the III Corps — served as the foundation of John Pope’s Army of Virginia, the antislavery alternative to George McClellan and the Army of the Potomac. The corps returned to being the I Corps in 1863 and served with honor on July 1, 1863 to the northwest of a Pennsylvania town called Gettysburg despite its commander being killed on the battlefield. I hope Mr. Wilson shares this noble legacy with his lawyer after he finally guts Dennis like a pig with his bayonet!” –KMD

“Chip needs the adrenaline of ever-increasing danger just to function, so he sleeps in front of the lawnmower with the throttle taped down. The cord is stretched to its limit — will it break free and plunge over him, blades whirring. He doesn’t know, and the suspense is the only thing that will quiet his brain long enough to sleep.” –Schroduck

“Jeffy is less interested in simple Christian truths (all mortal lives end in death) and more in the complex hierarchy and functions of angels. This could lead to Gnosticism, except that would imply knowing.” –Ettorre

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

About this Post

Comments are closed.

Post Content

Family Circus, 7/28/23

Ah, sweet, unlearned Jeffy! Having heard his parents and grandparents telling treacly stories of guardian angels, he assumes that everyone must have one, even characters in the fairy tales his parents read to him at night. But Ma Keane’s face shows that she knows the truth: that the protection offered by God and his heavenly messengers does not extend to freakish nightmare-beings like Humpty Dumpty. Man was made in the image of his Creator, and falls under His protective grace; but this egg-demon is clearly born of Hell itself, and being shattered on the ground, his guts oozing everywhere, is the fate he deserves.

Hi and Lois, 7/28/23

I assume, in a fatalistic way, that there are no new newspaper comics fans, and haven’t been for some time, and anyone still left reading them daily has really committed to the genre, and already knows all the lore. Still, I’d like to think that there are a certain number of people — not 10,000, surely, but at least a few — who are only learning today that Lois from Hi and Lois and Beetle from Beetle Bailey are siblings, and those people are absolutely losing their minds.

Post Content

Crock, 7/27/23

The thing about ladies’ butts is that the societal consensus on their optimal size has waxed and waned over the years: some decades have extolled the skinny, while in other eras big and round has been the way to go. This is a particular dilemma in the universe of Crock. When exactly was this strip published? When is any of the action supposed to be taking place? I don’t know and my guess is that the characters don’t either, so “compared to what?” is a legitimate question.

Judge Parker, 7/27/23

You and I both knew in our heart of hearts that the newspaper funny pages were never going to show a guy getting torn to pieces by a bear, not even if we’ve already established that guy as a child kidnapper, so we should appreciate what we do get today, which is seeing his screams of agony coming in from just off-panel. Then, to chill us out a bit, we smash cut to Sophie and Marie watching 2001: A Space Odyssey, I’m pretty sure, but Sophie’s not even paying attention because she’s looking at her phone. Kids today! With their phones and getting kidnapped by guys who get killed by bears and such!

The Lockhorns, 7/27/23

A thing I love about The Lockhorns is that in most panel, no matter what the “joke” is, one or both of the title characters looks like they want to die. Like this is just a dumb and overdone bit of wordplay on “continental,” they didn’t need to go so hard, but Leroy is looking at those pancakes like he’s contemplating whether he can deliberately choke himself to death on them, and I respect that artistic choice so much.

Dennis the Menace, 7/27/23

It’s true: Mr. Wilson spent much of his tween years as a child soldier in the bloody spasms of civil conflict that wracked the Congo after Belgium pulled its colonial administration out in 1960. The experience has left him with terrible emotional scars that he cannot bring himself to talk about. His outfit today is unrelated.