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Are you emotionally prepared for your comment of the week?

“I see Quill and Luann as the Romeo and Juliet for the 2010s, in that I hope they’re each dead by their own hand through a pointless series of miscues abetted by the adults they trusted most.” –Ed Dravecky

And for your hilarious runners up>

“Daredevil lives a great bachelor life here in San Fran. But I’ve got MJ waiting for meat home — the house made out of premium cuts of beef I promised her! I’d better start building it before the meats spoil.” –CleverNameIsaac

JP: “I can’t wait for the inevitable cruise ship mechanical failure. Wait until Judge Pissyface has to poop in a bag!” — Ned Ryerson

“No half hearted pun. No tired half-smirk. Pam is just powering through this interaction, dead eyes focused on the middle distance. Best Crankshaft ever!” –Bunivasal

“We warned you. We warned you that if you let women into the military, the male soldiers would start dating combat drones. It’s your own damn fault.” –Voshkod

“The creepiest thing about Spider-Man today is that his mask is staring at his ass in panel two. His sweet, sweet spider-ass.” –Pozzo

“‘Wifely prayers.’ Or as some people refer to them, divorce papers.” –WeatherServo9

“Throws it away, or delivers a crushing KNEE to the FACE of the opposing team?! Happy Hunger Games, Milford.” –Science Giant

“The first rule of the Shoe universe is that no one must ever acknowledge that everyone is a bird. Frito has spoken the Terrible Truth! Heretic! Heretic! As a journalist, Shoe knows all too well the grisly fate that the Thought Police shall inflict upon poor Frito.” –Guts Dozier

“‘Jose! How goes the revolution?’ ‘Oh, it’s going great. The streets of the capital are running red with the blood of the oppressors. I think we’ll be in power by late July, August, somewhere in there.'” –Dono

“Sarah is just mesmerized by Business McBusinessman’s combover. Children should not be exposed to such things.” –Lawyerbob

“I guarantee you this is by a wide margin the most emotional anyone has ever gotten about Book Day.” –Doctor Handsome

“I suppose you would like to get paid for your book? Well, sorry, we don’t do that. But our publishing your book will help you build your brand! Are you active on social media?” –cheech wizard

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Mary Worth, 6/21/13

Good news, everybody! Thanks to Mary’s fairly mild scolding and Tom’s ill-advised surprise-proposal, Elinor isn’t opposed to Tom and Beth’s love at all anymore! In fact, she’s in favor of it. Suspiciously strongly in favor of it, actually. Today she lets slip what her real epiphany was: if she lets Tom marry Beth and move into their apartment with him (obviously he’ll be moving into their apartment with them), she’ll have two soft touches to bully and push around, not just one! “I’ll even exceed those standards,” thinks Tom. But you won’t, Tom, you really won’t.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/21/13

Since this is clearly a reference to the bonkers ending of “The Rains of Castamere,” an episode of Game of Thrones that aired a mere 19 days ago, this is probably the most topical and specific Herb and Jamaal ever written. I guess by leaving out the actual name or description of the episode they can reuse it any time the show decides to freak everyone out with insane carnage, which I imagine will be fairly regularly.

Gil Thorp, 6/21/13

Actually, it looks Jimmy is smugly rubbing in the fact that the Foleys are as bad at baseball as they are at suing people. But, you know, Coaches Thorp and Kaz have pretty strict rules about cutting off all contact with their players the moment the season ends, so let’s let them have their little moment of self-delusion.

Judge Parker, 6/21/13

Soooo … I guess we’re done with even the pretense that Judge Parker Senior is a character we’re supposed to like?

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Spider-Man, 6/20/13

Hooray, it’s a new super-person for Spider-Man to fight and/or team up with … the Tarantula! One of the joys of only interacting with Spider-Man in his newspaper comic incarnation is that I have zero background on beloved characters from the comics, so I can accept each new moronic villain on whatever inane terms the strip choses to present him or her. Even in four sentences of exposition here it seems like dashing revolutionary Newspaper Comic Tarantula is nothing like any of the versions of Comic Book Tarantula, who are all employed by death squads working for their nation’s despotic government. So hopefully fanboys everywhere are gnashing their teeth at this change, since fanboy-teeth-gnashing is like the most exquisite music to me.

Anyway, “Far as we know from TV and the Internet, the revolution’s going great!” is the most 21st century American thing I’ve ever heard, and it’s also the most Newspaper Spider-Man I’ve ever heard, which means I guess Newspaper Spider-Man is the hero we deserve. How’s your revolution going? I heard it was going great! I think I read about it on Twitter or something.

Edge City, 6/20/13

Hey, let’s check in with obsessive neurotic Abby Ardin! Today, she’s obsessing neurotically that someone might find out that the cool dress she bought came from a consignment shop. Is this really a thing that anyone does? In my experience — and I’m a guy who buys clothes at thrift/vintage/consignment shops a lot — people who buy clothes at consignment shops generally cannot shut up about it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/20/13

Does it look lik Sarah’s lucky day? It doesn’t look like Sarah’s feeling very lucky at all. It looks like Sarah just achieved a dream with virtually no effort on her part, again, just had something handed to her by adults who were obsequious towards her supposed budding talent for no reason, and yet can’t feel anything, not triumph or joy or anything else. Why is everything so easy? What’s out there that can truly challenge me? Is this numbness what death feels like?

Herb and Jamaal, 6/20/13

Hey, remember that Herb and Jamaal from years ago where Herb and Jamaal were pretty obviously having sex? Well, the first couple panels have changed, but they’re at it again, if by “it” you mean “having sex with each other without talking about it,” which is pretty clearly what they’re doing.