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Crock, 12/10/12

As if the poor colonized subjects of French North Africa don’t have enough to worry about, now they have to deal with an outbreak of sexually aggressive camels.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/10/12

Why should the men of Hootin’ Holler bother investing in machinery that will lift them out of a subsistence economy if their wives do all the manual labor?

Apartment 3-G, 12/10/12

Evan and Margo’s sexual banter is pretty much as gross as you’d expect.

Mary Worth, 12/10/12

“We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love — first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage.” –Albert Camus

Hi and Lois, 12/10/12

THE DOG SYMBOLIZES THE DYING NEWSPAPER COMICS INDUSTRY, EVERYBODY

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Crock, 12/9/12

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think Crock is being portrayed as too cartoonishly evil here. I mean, obviously it’s well established that he’s a villainous, petty dictator, but surely he’s enough of a realist to know that the local religious authorities aren’t going to be actively preaching sin and filth like they’re the Church of Satan or something. Shouldn’t he be pleased that the local priest is going old school and promising to use his money to punish and degrade the church’s enemies, instead of going in for some kind of touchy-feely love-thy-neighbor crap like feeding the poor or something?

B.C., 12/9/12

Plans for a lucrative B.C. Babies franchise where abruptly scuttled when the terrifying character designs were revealed. “So, if we make their arms and legs even stubbier, and glom them onto impossibly squat torsos, and remove their necks, that’s cute, right? Kids will want those dolls?”

Garfield, 12/9/12

You know, Garfield gets a bad rap among comics snobs, but anything that teaches kids that Santa is really a terrifying demon-thing waiting to grab you from behind and drag you down into a terrifying hell-dimension is all right in my book.

Luann, 12/9/12

Left to their own devices, Brad and TJ have turned their backs on God and started worshipping Mammon full-time.

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B.C., 12/8/12

The current B.C. management seems perversely intent on taking the gimmick essentially designed for clip art reuse — “character reads joke out of a book sitting on a rock” — and actually put some effort into it. Should the Wiley’s Dictionary rock be moved down by the seashore, so B.C./Thor/maybe other blond caveman whose name I don’t know can enjoy the pleasant breezes through the beach grass along with his terrible four-word joke? Sure, why not!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/8/12

What does it take to turn Rex’s omnipresent supercilious scowl into an extremely restrained smile? His inferiors recognizing that he deserves free stuff, of course! I’m pretty sure he doesn’t really care about marine mammals one way or the other, but I assume he’ll still sit there in the stands, watching the orca-frolic, thinking “Yes, this … this is my due.”

Apartment 3-G, 12/8/12

Wow, so Greg’s been chosen to play James Bond, one of the most famous and high-profile roles in all of entertainment, and Margo hadn’t heard anything about it? He must have a terrible publicist.