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Mark Trail, 3/29/13

The current Mark Trail plot has ended as most of them do, in violence, so let us take a moment to pause and acknowledge that fact. Yes, Mark has yet to unleash his Fists o’ Justice™, and perhaps they will remain sheathed for the duration of this storyline, but the Flying Tackle of Fury® is also a venerable Trailian tradition, and respect must be paid, even if “tradition” might kind of be code for “there is one ancient original Mark Trail drawing of someone tackling someone else at the waist, and it’s just been endlessly photocopied and traced over the course of the decades.”

Mary Worth, 3/29/13

Meanwhile, what in the name of all that is holy is happening to Elinor’s face — nay, her whole head — in panel one? It’s like she can’t be satisfied with just faking some ailment to nip her daughter’s chances of romantic happiness in the bud; she’s going to actually will herself into a stroke using the power of sheer hatred, with the unsettling resulting skull distortion we can all see, much to our horror.

Family Circus, 3/29/13

Aww, isn’t that cute! The Keanes are using Billy to run a Social Security disability benefits scam!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/28/13

Rex and June may have forever left the land of magical stripper fights behind them, but there’s still the embryonic Morgan-spawn gestating in her womb, which I guess will be the fulcrum of however many Rex Morgan plots make up seven or eight months of strip time. Today’s fun: did you know that ladies who are pregnant crave certain foods, like waffles, even when, as we learned yesterday, the only waffle mix in the house expired more than a year ago? June is completely mesmerized by this ancient box of not-quite-shelf-stable-enough powdered breakfast, which should have hilarious results as she attends this afternoon’s lecture. (“Picking up on these subtle indicators could help medical professionals intervene in a domestic violence situation before it becomes deadly, and … yes, Nurse Morgan? Do you have a question?” [CUT TO: JUNE SITTING IN BACK ROW, HER FACE COVERED IN RANCID WAFFLE MIX, EYES WILD LIKE THE COCAINE-CRAZED TONY MONTONA IN SCARFACE])

Funky Winkerbean, 3/28/13

Ever since Funky Winkerbean began its Turn To Serious Art And By Serious Art We Mean Disease And Addiction And Death, it’s often featured multi-day or even multi-week story arcs. This week, though, the strip has returned to its gag-a-day, high-school-antics roots. For instance, today’s strip, in which Les is a smug dick to his entire class for no reason, has no larger narrative context, but is just sort of a discrete lump of unpleasantness.

Dennis the Menace and Family Circus, 3/28/13

Wow, Dennis, you got outmenaced by Jeffy. I think you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

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Oh, look, if it’s that banner image, then yes, I’m plugging the opportunity to see me live and in person!

• I’ll be reading from my novel-in-progress at Shattered Wig Night, this Friday, March 29! I’m opening for Michael Kimball reading from his postcard life stories project, and there will also be music! At the legendary 14 Karat Cabaret at 218 W. Saratoga St. in downtown Baltimore. Cover is $5 (cash only please); doors open at 9 p.m. (Here’s more about the novel, which I Kickstarted into embryonic existence last summer, if this is the first you’re hearing about it.)
• You perhaps remember my earlier threat to appear as a monologist for an improv performance? Well, that got cancelled because of a snowstorm (a snowstorm that ended up not happening, don’t even get me STARTED), and now it’s been rescheduled. I’ll be appearing at Magoobys with the Baltimore Improv Group, along with a group from Pennsylvania called the Oxymorons. Magooby’s is at 9603 Deereco Rd. in Timonium. Cover is $5 and there is a two-item minimum (“item” here meaning food, drinks, etc.); doors open at 7 p.m. and the show starts at 8 p.m.

It always warms my heart when Comics Curmudgeon readers come talk to me at live events. I’d love to see you there!