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Comment of the Week

Really liking that accusing look on Dennis's face. 'I was promised some kind of circus freak who lived like a dog, and instead I get this boring suburban schmoe? Boo! Zero stars!’

—pugfuggly
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Soapy Tuesday

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Gil Thorp, 3/12/13

Oh, hey, Gil Thorp, remember that thing? What’s been up there? Well, let’s see … the miraculous basketball-improving peacock that Scott Fowler (OMG “FOWL”ER I LITERALLY JUST GOT THIS) thought was his reincarnated little brother was just some dude’s peacock that kept getting out of its pen. Gil, after making fun of Scott for his idiocy, decided to harness the idiocy of everyone else on the team by having them go hang out with the peacock and collectively gain its completely fake magic powers. This got them into the playdowns, apparently! Too bad they’re going up against Hamilton, a team that has its own lucky creature deal going on. Do you think this pig contains the spirit of their point guard’s dead dad or something? Whatever, it will surely be enough to ensure that Milford is ignominiously defeated in the first round.

Judge Parker, 3/12/13

Call it Stockholm Syndrome, but I will never tire of Judge Parker strips where beautiful people talk about money while petting pretty pretty horses. Did you even know how lucrative maritime law is, peasant? Of course not! You’re probably unfamiliar with even the basics of yachting lore!

Mark Trail, 3/12/13

“Bass boats … fishermen … the usual stuff … docks … bait shops … vans … fish guts left lying out on docks … wow, this kid sure is lonely and sad and obsessed with fishing, am I right? Maybe it’s for the best that a great fisherman like Rod Bassy has kidnapped him.”

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Monday quickies

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Blondie, 3/11/13

Easiest way to distract Dagwood from all the terrible news you’re about to give him about his financial condition: Metaphors! Lots of colorful, confusing metaphors!

Herb and Jamaal, 3/11/13

Ha ha, it’s funny because Jamaal used to have sex with lots of different women, but now he has trouble pooping.

Hi and Lois, 3/11/13

I’m pretty sure this is the first time we’ve ever seen Chip’s eyes? They’re terrifying.

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Spring forward into TOTALITARIANISM

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Family Circus, 3/10/13

Good morning, America! Are you feeling a little … discombobulated? Like you didn’t get enough sleep? That’s because you’re under the boot heel of the United Nations and their one-world “Daylight Savings Time” plot. Most Americans are like the kids at the top of this panel, trudging off to another grey day in the grip of New World Order chrono-tyranny. Only those citizens in the few remaining freedom-loving states and insular areas are like the kids at the bottom, skipping and dancing in the bright light of liberty.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/10/13

I know it’s hard to tell, but Les seems even smugger than usual about whatever bit of judicial activism has Crazy Harry so worked up. “Roberts and his cronies just said that, under the Constitution’s right to privacy, a man remains married to his sainted dead wife’s ghost even when he marries another living woman! It’s not natural, I tell ya!”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/10/13

Soooo … Snuffy is going to die from taking too many or not enough pills, I guess?