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Spider-Man, 6/17/12

You get to a point with these Newspaper Spider-Man villains where you just give up on them ever being actually fearsome and embrace their camp value. Thus I was genuinely delighted to see that Clown-9, in addition to being a goofy dope who drives a duck car and thinks a high-powered squirt gun is threatening and has no higher ambitions of evil than disrupting a Broadway play, also thinks “not” jokes are funny.

Still, the final panel worries me, delightful as it is to see “SPIDEY: 0” written out explicitly. Is Clown-9 suddenly transforming from a lovable weirdo into something truly terrifying? Is he gaining super-strength, Hulk-style? Is he unveiling some kind of super-weapon? Is he renouncing “not” jokes, which Spidey loves almost as much as he does?

Panel from Slylock Fox, 6/17/12

Whoops, sorry about the permanent injury you suffered from being dragged around by the ears, wholly innocent rabbit! I guess the lesson here is that you shouldn’t act twitchy around cops in Slylock’s thuggish police state.

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Lockhorns, 6/16/12

Congrats to Leroy on finding the most absolutely generic packages in the store! Let’s see, I’ll guess that the chips are in the bag, the peanuts are in the little flat box, the pretzels are in the long skinny box, and the beer is in the larger of the two cans? Because Leroy only bought one can of beer, maybe? Anyway, Loretta, don’t be so quick to judge, as we haven’t figured out what’s in the little can yet — it might be a single serving of milk.

Shoe, 6/16/12

I’m on the record as saying that Buzz, Shoe’s angry, confused elderly bird-man, is my favorite character in this strip, which is why I resent the fact that all the other bird-people have apparently abandoned him to just blather his nonsense in isolation. Couldn’t Roz at least put forth the effort of standing there nodding sullenly at his insane ramblings? He’s her most faithful, lowest tipping customer!

UPDATE: Apparently Biz’s name is actually Biz, rather than Buzz? I leave this up as is, as a mark of my shame at being unable to indentify cartoon birds!

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Hello, everyone! I must apologize for the brevity of this week’s COTW; I’m actually traveling this week and the next, which means you should be marveling at my ability to keep up the pace of posts! Unfortunately, I haven’t kept up with the comments as I should have; still, I offer to you this gem that I spotted that was undeniably hilarious:

“Tomorrow’s headline will read, ‘SPIDER-MAN SAVES DAY / Day Was in No Jeopardy Whatsoever.'” –Steve

And these runners up, which are also extremely funny:

“As a woman of a certain age, I applaud Gil Thorp for consistently making athletic young people look like eyeball-searing trolls. Hahaha, ugly GT young people! I feel pretty!” –Poteet

“I think Ziggy is trying to convey the essence of 1960’s casualness and cool in that ‘pad’ used to mean ‘hang-out’, or ‘residence’ as a square might say. We also know it’s a ’60’s reference since talking mice are only brought to us either by Disney or hallucinogens.” –Uncle Ritzy Fritz

“Now why don’t you cancel that leave of absence and let your grown daughter go to Italy by herself so she can sort her own shit out? See what I mean, Wilbur? That just came out, unbidden, and felt so right! I don’t think I can get that kind of spontaneous satisfaction from some contrived clockwork bullshit Ask Wendy column.” –Brook Esia

“So now Mark Trail is going to the cops with a soaking wet gum wrapper from his pocket.” –Hogenmogen

“The best part of today’s Ziggy is the fact the guy isn’t even a DNA scientist. He’s just revolted by Ziggy’s family history to the point of supporting eugenics.” –sporknpork

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