Comment of the Week

So ... okay, Brad's using his left hand to wash Toni's right shoulder. That makes sense. And Toni's using her left hand to ... wash Brad's left shoulder. With a second bar of exactly-the-same-size soap that's in there for some reason. Picture this (I'm sorry). Really picture this (I'm so sorry). Imagine (I'M SORRY OKAY) reaching all the way across your body to wash what is almost certainly the least dirty place on your partner's body and then transitioning, somehow, into making out. Toni almost certainly elbowed Brad in the chin before she -- okay, you know what, I'm gonna stop right there; no no, don't get up, I'll arrest myself.

els

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Rex Morgan, M.D. 4/28/13

I know that the body changes during pregnancy but I’m not really comfortable with the changes to June’s face in the final panel here. Is her mouth getting bigger? Her eyes narrower and more feral? Now that she has absolute confirmation of successful mating, will she devour Rex’s head, praying-mantis-style? Will his last words, “I can live with that,” be exceptionally ironic?

Spider-Man, 4/28/13

BREAKING: BIGAMIST HUSBAND OF FAMOUS ACTRESS MARY JANE PARKER PLANNING WEDDING TO OLD PERSON

FOLLOW-UP: FAMOUS ACTRESS MARY JANE PARKER DOESN’T UNDERSTAND “CALLER ID,” WILL JUST PICK UP PHONE AND START TALKING TO WHOEVER

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Funky Winkerbean, 4/27/13

Is “being Nordic” a thing people say to mean “being pessimistic?” Wouldn’t people in the Funkyverse just say “being a normal human who understands the horrorshow that is our existence, as we writhe under the savage attentions of a cruel God?” Meanwhile, at Westview’s only motel, a guy who seems with increasing likelihood to be Darrin’s birth dad is checking in … and answering a straightforward question in a way that will annoy and confuse the clerk. “So you want the room … forever? I don’t … I don’t think there’s a way to put that into our system…”

Crankshaft, 4/27/13

Meanwhile, over in the “fun” Funkyverse strip, Pam shares her mental map of the park with her friend! Naturally, it’s a map of agony.

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Hope the weather is as nice where you are as it is where I am! But this comment of the week will be nice anywhere:

“Can we just take some time to appreciate ‘FRONNK,’ and the image it conjures of one of Stan Lee’s intern’s interns standing on a rooftop for hours on end, banging his head against a pipe and taking notes on the sound?” –Navigator

And the runners up! Very funny!

“This is some fancy-pants fundraiser. Governor Pete has changed into a tux, Margo’s looking ‘stunning’ in a shiny purple number, and Lu Ann is … wearing a cardigan. A Pepto Bismol-colored cardigan. Sigh. ‘What? Black tie means only the men get dressed up, right? Ladies don’t wear ties!'” –els

“I’m intrigued by the visual conception of ‘The crowd thins out’ in today’s A3G. Apparently meaning, ‘As the two random blue weirdos who’ve made up the audience for tonight’s bizarre event vanish into the ether, Margo, Lu Ann and the Governor find themselves inexplicably ensconced in a fitting room in Better Dresses.'” –Violet

I’ll be paid $120,000! Then I can buy real shirts instead of just spray-painting my skin every day!” –Chyron HR

“I once accidentally backed up into a pipe. ‘Sorry,’ I said. I’m Canadian.” –Mooncattie

“It’s always a quaint domestic situation people fall into when people establish where they sit, where their spot is, which chair is their chair. Bob the Bear takes things one step further by directly marking his recliner with his exposed bear taint, no big deal.” –Chareth Cutestory

“‘Daciou’ is a moderately common Slovakian feminine first name. We seem to be getting a small glimpse into the seamy underbelly of Hootin’ Holler’s swinging BDSM community, in that Snuffy is only mildly surprised that Ma Clovis would buy an Eastern European mail-order bride/dominatrix for her husband and then force him to wear a t-shirt proclaiming his complete and total subservience to Mistress Daciou in public.” –Alex

“In the A3G universe, men’s distinguishing features are all below the waist.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“All I can think about is how that poor baby is going to inherit the freakish elongated facial structure of its parents. Which is better than thinking about the two of them smugly watching Internet porn and making lame puns about it.” –Esther Blodgett

“Tom’s internal monologue is getting pretty tedious. Although I would like to see a scene of him alone in his apartment. ‘This lonesome bachelor could go for a Hot Pocket!'” –Doctor Handsome

“A ‘birds and bees’ talk in FW would go something like, ‘All things suffer and die, including, but not limited to, birds and bees.’ These nice young people have spent years watching documentaries on colony collapse disorder and avian flu.” –Mustang

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