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Pluggers, 9/12/11

Wow, thanks to the Pluggers comic for keeping me up to date on important plugger anthropological developments! If you had asked me before I saw this comic, I would have guessed that a “plugger coffeehouse” was one of those greasy-spoon diners where you can sit at a counter and a waitress will call you “hon” and fill up your mug limitlessly for a quarter. But no, all of those went out of business years ago, obviously, so pluggers just drive out to the McDonald’s on State Route 178 to drink their coffee. They may not get free refills but at least they aren’t going to menaced by any fruity poetry.

But pluggers may need to brush up on their own cultural awareness! Because, based on this comic, I’m guessing that they assume that non-plugger Americans get their java in ill-lit bohemian hideaways, where bearded Communists read slam poetry on stage while the assembled patrons snap their approval. In actuality, of course, non-pluggers get their coffee at Starbucks. Can’t we as a nation come together and bond over our love of soulless chain restaurants, even if they aren’t the same soulless chain restaurants?

Dennis the Menace, 9/12/11

So, uh, Dennis wishes his mother were some kind of pagan nature deity? This is either not menacing at all (i.e., Dennis is into twee neo-pagan spirituality, with, like, faeries and stuff) or extremely menacing (i.e., Dennis yearns for a divine lineage so that he might be imbued with God-like powers and indulge his every whim, to our terror).

Marvin, 9/12/11

Whoah, it looks like Marvin and his cat have turned to high-priced lawyers in their battle over pooping rights. Can you believe that they’ve gotten so corporate? I remember when it was about the shitting, man.

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Apartment 3-G, 9/11/11

On this solemn day of remembrance, it seems trivial to mock the comics. And yet we must acknowledge that one particular comic is helping us heal. What better way to honor the memory of those who died on 9/11 than to browbeat some unwilling girl into marrying you just because she doesn’t want to make you look like a jerk in front of your family? NEVER FORGET 9/11/11: the day Paul’s jet planes of love crashed into Lu Ann’s heart.

Mary Worth, 9/11/11

Or you could have Mary Worth call you! I’m sure that’s very comforting. “Hmm, that’s odd, Lois never seems to be home when I call to talk to her about her dead son. Could she be avoiding me? No, that world require some kind of advanced technology that would allow you to identify a caller before you answer the phone. Guess I’ll just keep leaving voice mail messages, about death!”

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I was going to update the site while I was on vacation, but then I said, “Wait a minute, I’m on vacation!” Sunday-Tuesday comics by Tuesday night (and don’t worry, I will NEVER FORGET Mary Worth’s 9/11 tribute).