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Mostly boobs edition

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Judge Parker, 10/21/11

In Judge Parker, teenage boobs are facing off against other teenage boobs!

Luann, 10/21/11

In Luann, Brad is being sexually harassed by boobs, and by unsettlingly shaped hair!

Pluggers, 10/21/11

Fortunately, Pluggers is pretty much without boobs. But not without intrigue! Sure, Mr. Bear-Man, you’re drunk-dialing that dude form junior high who you “experimented” with and haven’t spoken to since just to “use up your remaining minutes,” whatever.

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Thursday quickies

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/20/11

I am 100 percent in favor of Snuffy Smith focusing less on chicken thievery and more on Lureen cutting a sexual swath through the male population of Hootin’ Holler. The nickname she’s chosen for her current beau is rather poignant; due to his ripe old age and her impoverished community’s rudimentary medical system, she probably doesn’t need to worry about this fling lasting very long, if you know what I mean.

Mary Worth, 10/20/11

Oh, good lord, Bobby does still love Gina, and now we’re going to get a week or two of strips dedicated to the two of them mewling rapturously about the glory and majesty of their affection for one another. Our only hope is that we suddenly switch to a different, more interesting plot — one that, say, explains how Inside the Actors Studio’s James Lipton lost it all and ended up working as a maitre d’ at a midscale restaurant in California.

Spider-Man, 10/20/11

“I mean, I’m really not the kind of guy people ‘like’ or ‘want to help in any way.’ What’s in it for her?”

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The language of love and/or heartbreak

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Mary Worth, 10/19/11

Boy, Mary Worth got kind of boring in my absence, didn’t it? With the surprisingly fast reunion and all? Bobby and Gina, back together, still in love … wait a minute, Bobby says he loved Gina, past tense! YES, MORE DRAMA AND HEARTBREAK AND oh, man, I’m looking for drama in the verb tenses of Mary Worth. This is quite frankly a new personal low.

Beetle Bailey, 10/19/11

If you had asked me, “Josh, could Beetle Bailey become less funny if the entire cast were replaced by tiny robot replicas of themselves?” I would have said “no” because quite honestly I would have tuned out everything after “become less funny.” But now that I see the aggressively wacky Mini-Gizmo I already hate it even more than I already hated the real Gizmo. God, I can just hear its loathsomely zany robot-voice. WHY DOES BEETLE BAILEY MAKE IRRITATING EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES?

Six Chix, 10/19/11

Yeah, so apparently Rina Piccolo (aka the Six Chix Wednesday chick) is going keep doing S&M themed comics until somebody stops her.