“It figures that Morgantown would feature a beige-and-black art museum.” –But What Do I Know?
“Dude is a terrible stalker. Broad daylight, lots of witnesses — including her companion — probably tons of cameras and on-site security. I mean, hiding in plain sight, I guess, but come on man, you’re just blowing it.” –Old School Allie Cat
“That’s actually the shade of Abraham Lincoln, plotting his return to save the nation by destroying whatever insufferable town Rex Morgan takes place in so nobody has to suffer through its roots country-obsessed inanity again.” –ectojazzmage
“Marty is in need of whichever 12-step addresses Jeckyll and Hyde transformations.” –MKay
“Beth starts the ’86’ process by soaking a rag from her bottle of ether.” –Hibbleton
“30 years from now, that little boy will learn that it means ‘two weeks,’ and be devastated that grandpa lied to him, and that he’s been wrong about it his whole life.” –Ignatz
“Nobody responds with ‘In a fortnight,’ like their sole reason for being is to force wordplay in a comic strip, Grandpa Pickles. Plenty of people do die of carbon monoxide poisoning though. ” –Tabby Lavalamp
“The guy in background is a maître d’ who has fallen on hard times and taken a bagging job. He went from commanding the staff of a fine restaurant to now having to stoically listen to a Midwestern bumpkin cow shit-talk cowpies that were specifically made to appeal to sentient livestock. Cows may have joined humans in intelligence and bipedalism, but they will never truly be as sophisticated as us until they learn manners.” –Philip
“Next, Sly’s going to waltz in and inform us that the Frankenstein knockoff won’t work because the electrical connections aren’t grounded, or some shit.” –astroboy
“Noir died as a genre with the invention of the water cooler. I want to see my hard-boiled detectives knocking back bourbon in the shadowy, smoky backroom of a decaying brownstone. I do NOT want to see them sipping mineral water in an air-conditioned, fluorescent-lit open-plan office grumbling about computer systems while carefully recycling their little paper cups.” –Schroduck
“Speaking of shooting, Dick’s been shot, right? He’s tenderly embracing the water cooler, leaning on it for support, to spare Sam — and us — the trauma of seeing his bullet wound? I can’t think of any other reason the art in three separate panels would be so reluctant to admit that Dick has a torso.” –Navigator
“Happy relationships rarely make comedy happen, and these bird ladies know it. Any good male partner they ever met had to be rejected to serve the comic strip. Their audiences of aged spinsters would never forgive them their happiness.” –Philip
“Egg-laying mammals are of course some of the most primitive, with a cloaca, five sets of sex genes and a lack of connective tissue between the hemispheres of the brain. They’re a complete anachronism by millions of years, in other words, perfectly suited to the Wizard of Id.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
“Coach Gerads says he’s heard folks refer to him as ‘the bad boy of Milford sports.’ I’ve never heard that, and no one I’ve ever talked to has ever said that, but that’s what he says. He also says he’s heard folks call Gil Thorp ‘the egg-sucking weasel of Milford sports,’ but again, I cannot confirm.” –Cleveland Mocks
“The latest Bland Love Interest (I’ve already forgotten his name and I’m not bothering to look it up) is conducting this date as some combination of a job interview and those painful icebreaker exercises they do at conventions, and honestly that’s a red flag as vibrant as Mary Worth’s Obviously Abusive Dirk and Rex Morgan’s Goatee McStalker ever waved.” –TheDiva
“I guess this all must’ve taken place back in, say, the nineteen-fifty-aughts, in an era when convicts wore black-and-white striped uniforms and kids wore beanies with propellers for some reason. It’s hard to remember from that long ago, but those were some tough times — heck, some folks couldn’t afford furniture in their kitchen or even doors in their house. It seems like pussycats were a bit more clever back then, though — you know, just smart enough to commit crimes, but not quite smart enough to avoid getting caught.” –BigTed
“They’re going to confront him with a particularly nihilistic piece of avant-garde art, leading to crippling existential questions.” –odinthor
“I suppose when your museum has an entire room with nothing but diplomas, you’re used to peace and quiet.” –Guts Dozier
“‘Belle’ from Florida isn’t a fling, she’s just a Disney fanatic who needed Wilbur ‘Beast’ Weston to complete the look at Cancun Cosplay 2: Beachside Boogaloo. Next year, they’ll reunite as Nemo and Dory at the Southwest Furry Convention in Needles, CA.” –Bull City
“I bet Thel didn’t figure she’d get so much trouble when she took Jeffy shopping for a… New Jersey! I hate myself.” –matt w
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