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Judge Parker, 6/13/12

There hasn’t been a lot of plot development or anything over the last few days in Judge Parker, but I did want to give you a good look at Sam and Avery’s hideous fishing outfits, if only to assure you that massive, unearned fortunes can’t buy taste.

Pluggers, 6/13/12

Pluggers are sneaky cheapskates who invoke their grandchildren in transparent attempts to get out of paying for things.

Spider-Man, 6/13/12

Sadly, hilariously, Clown-9’s statement in panel two is 100% accurate.

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Marmaduke, 6/12/12

Oh, Dottie! I understand the urge to you have to revel, just for a moment, in your victory over Marmaduke, to let him know that you beat him, right before you plunge the obsidian dagger into his enormous heart and send his dark soul back to the hell-dimension from which it came. But his moments of weakness are so few and so fleeting that you can’t waste time gloating. In fact, one huge eyelid is already creaking open, meaning things are about to get very bad for you very quickly.

Dennis the Menace, 6/12/12

On the other end of the “committing violence against living things on your property” spectrum, taking out your aggression on plants has to be some of the least menacing business I can think of.

Apartment 3-G, 6/12/12

It looks like the offspring Scott implanted in Nina’s body is finally ready to burst out through her chest. Guess she was right to be freaked out about this pregnancy after all!

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Slylock Fox, 6/11/12

“Hmm, yes, that is an interesting fact, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, about tadpoles not having legs. But did you know that adult amphibians, like Mr. Buford Bullfrog, breathe through their skin? Which means that they’d never smear ‘moisturizing’ gunk on themselves, because it would be a death sentence! So why would Mr. Bullfrog have stolen the moisturizer in the first place, hmm? It just doesn’t add up!” This is what Buford Bullfrog’s lawyer would say, if he had a lawyer, if defendants in Slylock-world were actually allowed decent representation. But no, they’re just dragged into court and forced to sit wide-eyed in terror as Slylock plays his little ratiocination games and everyone laughs. Then presumably comes the summary execution.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/11/12

Try as he might, Snuffy can’t break through the codes of sexual shame so prevalent in his community and tell his best friend that he was molested by a senator.

Mark Trail, 6/11/12

“Hmm, I just parted company with a bush pilot whom I openly accused of murder, though I’ve also made it clear that I’m the only one who knows about the evidence against him! Now a bush plane is flying low very close to me. I wonder what’s going on!” Thank goodness for Mark that our sporting killer only shoots people in the water.

Ziggy, 6/11/12

I have less of a problem with the mouse sitting on the pad than I do with the mouse sitting on the pad so … alluringly.