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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/16/11

I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve seen Jughaid’s haid without his omnipresent coonskin hat, and what a disturbing sight it is! Horror aside, though, this comic implies that perhaps I’ve been too hard on the residents of Hootin’ Holler over the years; after all, that shallow brainpan and those protruding brow ridges indicate that the town is populated by a lost tribe of Homo habilis, and frankly rather than criticizing their primitive lifestyle we ought to be impressed by how close their civilization comes to the one created by anatomically modern humans.

Shoe, 2/16/11

I’ve become something of a connoisseur of Shoe’s trademarked Goggle Eyes Of Horror, and today’s double-whammy is particularly intriguing to me. One expects to see them on whatever bird-man is the butt of the joke, as our stranger is here; however, the fact that the Perfesser is also sporting them seems significant. It’s as if he’s realized to his shock that Shoe is right, King is the name of his dog, but he was talking to the other man about a real king, and he forgets, sometimes, which is which. It’s the look of panic a man has in a moment of lucidity as he realizes he’s slipping into senility or going insane, and as such is a thousand times more harrowing than some mild consternation at almost ordering a sub-par meal.

Apartment 3-G, 2/16/11

Good gracious, why does Iris keep falling asleep in the car? Is she like a baby, and the sound of wheels on pavement just lulls her to sleep more or less immediately? I’ve been assuming that this is just a jaunt of a few hours or less, but perhaps I’m wrong; perhaps they’ve been driving aimlessly around Upstate New York for days, and Iris has been passing out from exhaustion whenever she has a few minutes. Trey and Margo have stayed awake the whole time, since they’re high on love and/or cocaine.

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Momma, 2/15/11

Wow, if you had asked me which nationally syndicated comic strip would be the first to reference recent political upheaval in the Middle East, Momma would not have even made my top ten. Mother Hobbes knows that there’s nothing that scatters a group of revolutionary troublemakers like a good snowfall. She longs for the day when a great cleansing snow comes for all of us, crushing political dissent and calls for freedom under an icy, silent blanket.

Mark Trail, 2/15/11

It appears that Mark has been shot directly in the head, and the bullet has struck with such force that it’s knocked a few hairs out of place. He’s really going to do some serious punching, once he shakes that off.

Family Circus, 2/15/11

Did you look at this comic and not immediately imagine a thought balloon emerging from Mommy Keane’s head that reads “Ahh, yes, my intra-Keane breeding project is proceeding apace!” Then you are a much better person than I, my friend.

Wizard of Id, 2/15/11

If one constructs a sexual partner out of pieces of disinterred corpses and then reanimates it using dark magic or forbidden science, does that count as necrophilia? Discuss.

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Herb and Jamaal, 2/14/11

You guys, sorry these comics are so late in appearing! The Houston Chronicle’s usually convenient comics page was missing about half of its comics for much of the day, and then my evening was dedicated to Valentine’s-related activities. But I’m sure glad I waited, because I was rewarded by the triumphant return of Herb and Jamaal! Yes, this beloved comic was missing for the past … several days? Week? Indeterminate time-unit? I can’t really be bothered to remember. Apparently this absence was a not a result of the Chron’s accounts payable department neglecting to write a check to Creators Syndicate, but rather because the Chron’s upper management was locked in heated negotiations to get this coveted strip back in the paper. Did we miss the moment when Jamaal and Yolanda, who became America’s Sweethearts by default when Seth and Summer were cancelled, finally got together? No, according to this conversation between Yolanda and some mail carrier person whom we’ve never seen before!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/14/11

It’s hard to look at Rex’s freakishly oversized mitt in panel one and not imagine that he’s going to follow up “Dex has already had a taste of unbridled spending” with “and now I’m going to give him a taste of my pimp hand!” Sadly, he instead goes on to actually show a shred of empathy with another human being, which is frankly not the sort of thing the Rex Morgan I know goes in for.

Wizard of Id, 2/14/11

Ha ha, the Wiz — who, as one of the king’s chief advisors, is surely well off — is stealing from impoverished peasants, using sinister magic! At least he isn’t just physically assaulting them, for the crime of being poor.

Mary Worth, 2/14/11

Based on Mary’s nervous coquettishness and Wilbur’s frank leer as he closes the door, this scene reads to me as if Mary’s come to learn some perverse sexual technique — one that only Wilbur can teach her, and one that Mary needs to know if she’s to keep Dr. Jeff’s interest in her. Oh, I’m sorry, did I just disgust and repulse you to the extent that you’ll never want to experience sex, or even human affection, again? Well, too bad. Happy Valentine’s Day!