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Mary Worth, 6/20/09

I love that Mary Worth has gone all Herb and Jamaal-y on us, with “Thanks for preparing my favorite dish!” Perhaps this ambiguity is meant to draw the reader in, so that Delilah becomes the viewpoint character. You can imagine that Mary Worth has prepared your favorite dish, whatever that happens to be! If you concentrate on the deliciousness hard enough and then fix your eyes on Mary’s grinning face in the second panel, it’ll be like you’re there! Then you’ll run screaming into the woods!

I think it’s more likely, though, that the author knew that whatever specific food references were put into the dialogue would be ignored in favor of the artist’s favored blobby food-like units, and couldn’t bring herself to write “Thanks for preparing my favorite dish, fist-sized grey ’n’ orange masses! I can’t believe you remembered!”

Funky Winkerbean, 6/20/09

Uh huh, “went up to Cedar Point,” “took off with some of his buddies,” whatever. Summer and Cory are totally off getting teen pregnant right now, as these two mope it up.

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Crankshaft, 6/20/09

I’m not saying that old people should be allowed to make their own life choices and do things that their kids might find unconventional or embarrassing … oh, wait wait, it turns out that’s exactly what I’m saying. I mean, obviously there are any number of health reasons not to smoke, but with today’s strip we learn that the Crank-in-laws are just mainly focused on stopping Grandma Rose from ever humiliating them by doing anything that they wouldn’t, with “having fun” being high on the list.

On the other hand, they may be worried that she’ll interpret “tramp stamp” according to the idiom of her own time, and will be enraged at granddaughter’s suggestion that she get some kind of government license to live as an itinerant vagrant.

Marmaduke, 6/20/09

“Oh, and in totally unrelated news, they still haven’t caught that serial killer who’s been murdering and dismembering picnickers down at the park.”

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Mark Trail, 6/19/09

Who has the greatest hair in Mark Trail history? This guy! Panel two offers us a close-up of its jellied texture, but I’m more intrigued by panels one and three, in which the backflap appears to be hanging stiffly down the back of the skull, presumably attached by some sort of hinge mechanism to the top panel. When it comes time for punching, we’re apparently going to learn that it isn’t just facial hair Mark hates; it’s abnormal hair of all stripes.

Gil Thorp, 6/19/09

Wow, I never thought I’d be pleased to see Jeff “The ’Czak” Ponczak and Matt the Hatt and their stupid public access show, and I certainly never thought I’d be pleased to see them mostly naked, but I have to admit that panel three is something of a breath of fresh air. It’s not as good as Gil urging a parent to sue his employers in panel two, but it’s pretty close.

Beetle Bailey, 6/19/09

When General Halftrack finally decides to end it all, he’s not going out alone. The folks who work in his office can only pray that when he reaches that moment of despair, his fingers will be so palsied from drink that he’ll lack the fine motor control skills necessary to pull out the pin.

Marmaduke, 6/19/09

Vasectomy?