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Marvin, 3/17/23

Most people would tell you that Marvin’s main innovation is that it’s a newspaper comic strip that’s mostly about peeing and pooping, but let’s not forget that it’s also about a whole family — three generations of people, plus pets — who simply do not like one another and would abandon one another for a better offer at the drop of a hat.

The Lockhorns, 3/17/23

I think we can all agree that Leroy is a fairly unpleasant person generally, and so I’ve always assumed that his coworkers spend as little time interacting with him as possible, which probably goes a long way towards explaining his perennial lack of professional success. This is probably the most attention any of them have ever paid to him, which no doubt makes the whole experience sting all the more.

Blondie, 3/17/23

I like that this guy just takes it as a given that, even in his own internal mindscape, Dagwood would not be smart or resourceful enough to escape from a leprechaun on his own initiative.

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Crock, 3/16/23

A fun fact is that this is literally how World War I started — or, I guess, is literally why World War I couldn’t be stopped after it started even though everyone kind of knew it was a bad idea.

Gasoline Alley, 3/16/23

Ha ha, Ida Noe, the creepy talking doll, seems to know a thing or two about shaking a dead person’s hand! You can cover her mouth all you want, but ultimately you cannot stop her.

Judge Parker, 3/16/23

RANDY PARKER! He’s tanned, rested, and ready for this assignment. Like, really tanned. Leathery. He spent the entire period when he was off the bench in a high-powered tanning booth. Why did he do this to himself. Is he even human anymore, under all that tan???

Pluggers, 3/16/23

Ha ha, were you planning on spending the rest of your day not thinking about your tongue and how old it is? Well, too bad! And here you thought the only body horror Pluggers delivered was its parade of freakish man-animal hybrids.

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Family Circus, 3/15/23

I don’t have kids, but I am given to understand that your child handing you a crumb-covered piece of garbage and explaining how its actually a thoughtful, beautiful gift that you’ll be a bad person for throwing away is definitely in the realm of thing that your kids will do for/to you. This one’s going up on lots of refrigerators everywhere, is what I’m saying! “You’ve got to laugh,” they’ll say, hanging it up with a magnet. “You’ve got to. The alternatives are all pretty bad.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/15/23

I dunno, those quote marks around “exploring America” makes it sounds kind of sarcastic and maybe a little euphemistic, I would not let Sarah look at that phone.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/15/23

It’s true: A cardiac clinic could be very lucrative, but this poor and sparsely populated region simply cannot support one, so locals must travel hours via perilous cliffside paths to the big city if they need open-heart surgery.