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Slylock Fox, 4/3/23

I genuinely love how flabbergasted Count Weirdly looks here. “Oh my god! Slylock Fox? The detective who foils literally every one of my dumb schemes? The one who I specifically set up a camera in order to detect? Here? Now?”

Dennis the Menace, 4/3/23

With those theatrical hand gestures and that hilarious wordplay, the only people these two will be menacing are the other players on the vaudeville circuit, as their old man/little kid double act takes the world by storm! (EDITORS NOTE: There is no more “vaudeville circuit” as such and has not been for many years)

Blondie, 4/3/23

I’m excited to see Blondie just give up on telling “jokes” altogether and instead become a comic presenting slices of life so mundane that the strip becomes a work of avant-garde art. I certainly hope that the entire remainder of the week consists of three panels a day of Dagwood staring at the microwave in silence, to really hammer home how long 90 seconds can last if you’re reasonably hungry.

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 4/2/23

I dunno, man, I kind of doubt that the Forest Kingdom’s legal regime says you’re allowed to take away someone’s jar of nuts and weigh it just based on reasonable suspicion alone, but aren’t allowed to open it without a warrant. I kind of think Slylock is, once again, just showing off his ratiocination abilities here.

Hi and Lois, 4/2/23

I really enjoy how sour Dot looks in the final panel here! Like many English words, “season” is polysemous, and frankly Dot is not here for it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/2/23

Sooooo, what do we think, is that Rene in yet another of his wigs, or is Dr. Mirakle just some guy? Either way, since he’s managed to purge Mud’s mind of the darkness that allowed him to produce such emotionally complex hits as “Muddy Boots” and has left him so happy that all he can churn out is nonsense treacle, maybe one of those private seminars would be pretty helpful!

Dustin, 4/2/23

Oh, hey, just FYI, last year on a cruise Dustin’s dad’s dick, or his balls, or maybe both his dick and his balls, popped out of his swimsuit while he was out in public. We should obviously be thankful that we’re only hearing about this second hand, but honestly hearing about it second hand is no picnic either.

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Dustin, 4/1/23

Today’s Dustin is based on one of my least favorite (which is really saying something) running strip premises, which is that the supposedly young characters attempt to meet other young people for romantic reasons at fern bars where the guys all drink pint glasses of beer and the gals all drink wine, rather than by staring blankly at their phones and putting forth the minimum physical effort necessary to swipe in one direction or another for hours on end. But if we’re accepting this make-belive fantasy world, I approve of today’s strip, in which one of the aforementioned wine-drinking ladies decides that she’s going to make a move on the gents! You go, girl! I guess Dustin’s friend Fitch, whose whole characterization in the strip thus far has been “is stupid,” can now additionally be characterized as “is supposed to be reasonably attractive in-universe.” Obviously she leaves immediately once she get’s a whiff of their terrible personalities.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/1/23

Hootin’ Holler has long been completely isolated from mainstream civilization save for the occasional faint radio broadcast, so taking care to tend to the calendar and its associated set of holy days is a quite important task! Sadly, it’s yet another one that apparently only the women of this community are capable of performing.

Gil Thorp, 4/1/23

Oh, hey, I don’t think I mentioned this, but the Mudlarks have a disturbingly lifelike peacock mascot now, which I believe is a reference to a 2013 storyline where one of the kids thought a peacock he saw was a reincarnation of his dead brother that granted the team good luck, but it just ended up being a peacock that belonged to some guy. This honestly is fine, given that the bird sometimes called a mudlark is usually called a “magpie-lark” and is kind of boring-looking, and I guess we’re all too “PC” now to have a disgusting Victorian urchins looking for scraps of metal on the banks of the Thames to resell as a team mascot.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/1/23

“Sugar on a spoon?” Is this a song about heroin? Is Prof. Augustus Mirakle his dealer? Maybe the tales of Mud Mountain’s digestive distress aren’t finished yet.