Your COTW coming momentarily, but why not enjoy this latest installment in the increasingly hilarious Protectors Of The Earth series?
“‘I love skating, no matter what is thrown my way.’ Well, toots, bet you didn’t count on fielding a stout matron with a firm conviction that there’s something wrong with you that ONLY SHE CAN FIX, did you?” –trey le parc
“WHEN MARGO SPEAKS YOU WILL SALUTE” –Nimrod Gently
“I believe ‘Don’t let him get away!’ is simply the one lazy cop’s suggestion to the other lazy cop. Incredibly, sloth and incompetence are actually working in Peter Parker’s favor for a change.” –Joe Blevins
“Wow! Margo went from Esmeralda to Quasimodo in three panels flat! That must be some kind of record.” –sak
“I am absolutely fascinated by the Plugger TV show. Is it a private eye trick-or-treating in Giza? Because if that’s what being a plugger means, I’m all in.” –150
“All comics tend toward a state of maximum entropy. Some, like Judge Parker, Apartment 3G, and Pluggers/Shoe, merely submit. Others, like Dick Tracy, strike out in a frenzy of madness and rage against the gathering dark.” –Uncle Lumpy
“How do those guys normally chain raccoons to logs? Is it a complicated system of dowels? Do they superglue the chains to their heads? Drill a hole through the raccoons’ necks? I mean, it’ll be a little more cost-effective to chain him to a log, with his own collar and all, but it’s just one step less than what they’d have to do otherwise, right? Lazy, lazy raccoon-chaining bastards.” –Patrick
“Nightmarish imagery associated with youth athletics? Ridiculous! Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a disembodied hand walking around the set of Gil Thorp that I have to bludgeon to death.” –Black Drazon
On the Gary-Dr. Kelly discussion: “I bet he’s more like ‘Stay away from my girl.’ And the doc is like ‘Your girl? I’m gay and I thought she was a dude. The name “Tommy” threw me. Sorry. My bad.'” –Hogenmogen
“What ARE they talking about? ‘Listen, Dr. Kelly, I’m…’ ‘No, I’m Gary, YOU’RE Dr. Kelly.’ ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Yes, you’re wearing scrubs — you’re the one more likely to be a doctor.’ ‘But you’re wearing glasses.’ ‘Yes, that makes me a computer guy.’ ‘Okay — now what are we talking about?’ ‘Tommie.’ ‘Who’s he? The guy in Tibet? The dead druggie?’ ‘No, it’s a she … we’re competing over her.’ ‘Oh, is that the bitchy one? The dumb blonde?’ ‘Sigh…’ –Lake Eerie Log Chains
“Here, the characters helpfully demonstrate what is known as a ‘Lost Forest embrace.’ It consists of standing several feet apart with your arms extended without making actual physical contact.” –Joe Blevins
“Dr. Kelly is finally telling Gary about the ‘facts of life’, and Gary looks stunned.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
“If there was ever an event called ‘Smirkstock’, that’s what it would look like.” –Red Greenback
“It’s wrong! Frank, you did it all wrong! You were too direct. Next time, smile and say something like this: ‘It’s okay, dear, all that time and money spent training was more than worth it; as long as you’re happy finishing in second place, I’m happy.’ It will devastate her for years.” –late2theparty
“That’s not sex in 9CL. That’s just the most incompetent handjob ever. Not that I blame Edda, as I wouldn’t want to touch Amos down there either.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Maybe THAT train is just what I need! The train that’s flying past me at full speed and is about a dozen yards away! By the time I reach it, I could probably use the wheels of the caboose to cut off my hands!” –survivor
“Maybe we’ll be treated to a week in which Brad and TJ stand at an intersection with a can to raise money for Rotary International. It can be mildly drizzly, and most people can awkwardly roll up their windows as they approach.” –Lettuce
“Forget playing with a bad heart! The ’Czak is openly defying the laws of gravity in order to bring the Most Homoerotic Drinking Fountain Posture trophy back to Milford after a five-year absence.” –DaveyK
