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Mark Trail, 10/10/08

OK, I think we all know where this is going — Sue will be so touched by Mark rescuing her from an alligator and the simple kindness of these forest folk that she will inexplicably allow her valuable swampland to remain a haven for dangerous reptiles, rather than develop it into a strip mall anchored by a Barnes and Noble and a P.F. Chang’s, as God intended. This will set up a conflict with her money-minded ex-boyfriend, whom Mark may have to punch, blah blah blah.

The possible wildcard is Sneaky. Everyone insists on treating him as some kind of lovable household pet when he’s clearly a filthy, thieving wild animal who you shouldn’t turn your back for a second. Ha ha, he’s stealing my wallet! Ha ha, he’s clawing at my daughter’s face! Look into those beady little eyes in panel three and just try to tell me that there’s anything going through his head right now other than “BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE”.

Family Circus, 10/10/08

Good lord, is anything safe from Angry Billy’s flailing, aimless rage? Now he’s incensed at the very concept of the linear progression of time itself. “Seven sucks! I hate seven! I want to be six forever! SIX! SIX! Screw you, seven!” Personally, I’d be pretty nervous being in such close proximity to this tightly wound little rage-stump, but Grandma looks remarkably serene. Maybe she’s somehow got inside information on the exact time and place of the inevitable killing spree.

Spider-Man, 10/10/08

Peter Parker spent the early part of this week bitching about the idea of a museum show of clocks, but now he’s decided that it might be a good place to intercept the fake Spider-Man because, you know, trying to figure out something better would be hard. He’s also not traveling around in costume because of the dastardly deeds of the aforementioned fake Spider-Man, so he’s apparently chosen just to climb up the side of this wall, in broad daylight, without hiding his identity in any way because who cares. This strip should change its name from The Amazing Spider-Man to Spider-Man: Whatever.

Pluggers, 10/10/08

Everyone knows that plugger coffee comes in a $12 can that lasts for months, and is made with a scoop of crystals and some boiling water. Dog-man plugger here would be no more likely to be leaving the store with a bag of coffee beans than he would with arugula or a copy of the Economist.

By the way, I’ve seen Reed Hoover’s name in Pluggers often enough that I Googled him to find out how he became such a plugger-savant, only to find this two-year-old article from the Dallas Morning News. I urge you to read it all the way to the very end! You will not regret it.

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Sorry for the non-comics related metapost here, everybody, but: I’m writing a feature about superstitions IT workers (defined broadly … programmers, sysadmins, architects, tech support, etc.) and their superstitions. I know techies have a reputation for being a rationalist bunch but I’ll bet some of you rub a lucky rabbit’s foot before an OS upgrade or knock wood every time you commit code into Subversion. I’d love to hear about anything slightly irrational that you take to your tech job — charms, muttered incantations, lucky socks, you name it. Feel free to email me at bio@jfruh.com if you’re interested in sharing.

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Mary Worth, 10/9/08

“Yes, Toby, a, er, colleague! His name is Owen … Owen, er, Blameron. Professor Blameron confided in me that he received an e-mail that offered a surprisingly low price on a number of delectable videos, such as ‘Sexy Scottish Lassies,’ ‘Sorority Girls Can’t Resist An English Prof,’ ‘Younger Woman, Chinbearded Lover’ … well! You get the picture! This Blameron fellow could hardly be expected to resist such an offer, could he? But when the charges that appeared on his card were much higher than advertised, and then the videos never did arrive, I — er, he, I mean, he — eventually came to the conclusion that he’d been had. Sadly, the man was too embarrassed to admit what had happened to his credit card company, and when his credit rating tanked, the only mortgage he was able to afford, despite his respectable position at the top-ranked second-tier school in the University of California system, was on a pathetic one-bedroom apartment in a aesthetically blighted post-war condo complex where fun and joy go to die … where was I? Oh, yes, don’t worry about your little identity theft thing, happens to the best of us. Um, I’ve heard, from my colleague, I should say.”

Archie, 10/9/08

Ha ha, Jughead’s hunger for free hamburgers is so intense that the promise of them grants him superpowers! But Archie had better hope that said powers are only temporary, because when Jughead finds out that there are not, in fact, free burgers on offer, he’s likely to come back to the pool and crack Archie’s skull open like a walnut.

Funky Winkerbean, 10/8/08

Today’s Funky Winkerbean features two creepy middle-aged men talking about buying and selling teenage girls! It’s there to make you say, “Hey, how about another cancer storyline? That would be significantly less disturbing.”

In other news, today’s Medium Large has a special treat for Pluggers fans.