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Hi and Lois, 6/28/23

The word “organ” in English originally referred to the musical instrument, and the process by which its sense drifted so that it came to also mean a body part used for a certain function, while the adjective “organic” now primarily means “free from pesticides and fertilizers” is complex and, like most etymological changes, arbitrary. (A parallel process in French produced biologique as the analogue to “organic” in English, which always tickles me.) But, look, here’s the thing: babies, though you might be tempted to think of them as people with fully formed minds but very little information about the world, which leads them to try to reason everything out from first principles, are not in fact like that at all, especially when it comes to language acquisition. They just learn words they hear people say and figure out their meaning from context, so they’re going to be able to tell what “organic” means independent of what “organs” are and might not make the connection for years! Also, how much are Hi and Lois talking about organs in front of their baby? Seems suspect. Let’s put a pin in that for later.

Mary Worth, 6/28/23

Obviously if one of my beloved pets had vanished and I had been primed by sensationalistic local news coverage to believe that they had been kidnapped, I would be distraught. But I feel like I have enough distance from the situation here to point out that (a) Greta’s disappearance was, like several days ago and (b) even if Max could track Greta’s scent, he definitely couldn’t track the scent of the van that Saul thinks took Greta away. What I’m trying to say is that it actually does not matter how fast Saul hustles on this mission, so he shouldn’t endanger his health just so he feels like he’s putting in his “best effort”.

Beetle Bailey, 6/28/23

OK, I retract my statement from Monday, Sarge/Beetle secret romance content is fully back and it’s better than ever

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Gil Thorp, 6/27/23

Oh wow, it looks like the WOKE FCC won’t let America’s millions of high school sports fans hear fraught language or see a father-son relationship fall apart, with devastating emotional effects that will leave both parties wounded for years, THANKS A LOT PRESIDENT BRANDON

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/27/23

Good lord, I thought Snuffy knowing common French phrases was bad, but I absolutely cannot abide by Hootin’ Holler’s citizenry acting as if they all accept the germ theory of disease.

The Phantom, 6/27/23

Savarna and Wilbur: The superstar teamup we didn’t know we needed!

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Marvin, 6/26/23

“Because you said it in front of him in English, a language he absolutely speaks and understands! Yeah, I know, he’s a baby, or maybe a toddler, or maybe a four-year-old who isn’t potty trained, and sometimes he uses thought balloons and sometimes speech balloons. Nobody really can explain what’s going on. Anyway, it’s a good thing we don’t seem to be required to do a ‘joke’ of any sort here. Egg shortage ended a while ago, incidentally.”

Beetle Bailey, 6/26/23

Look, I’m as glad as anyone to say good-bye to my mid-to-late ’00s vogue for “ho ho, what if Beetle and Sarge were … FUCKING … in a kinky way” jokes, but I do appreciate that they still take the time to antagonistically flirt with one another now and then.

The Phantom, 6/26/23

Believe it or not, The Phantom is still years deep into this “the Phantom springs Savarna from prison … and the consequences may be catastrophic” storyline and I don’t feel a need to keep you updated on the details, but I do need to point out that CHHFROOSH! is a top-tier sound effect that we all need to recognize and respect.