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Family Circus, 2/18/07

You know, there are literally millions of people working in the IT industry, from the theoreticians who come up with the big-picture advances that make faster processors and clearer monitors possible, to the engineers who build the chips and the programmers who write the code, to the human factors experts who make it all accessible to the ordinary user and the factory workers in Taiwan who put the physical parts together. And I think all of them would look at this cartoon and say, “This? I spent the last fifteen years of my life for this? ‘A whole line of sleep?’ I should have gone into insurance like Mom said.”

Doodles by Mac & Sack, 2/18/07

Why is it so hard for this poor, dumb koala to keep out of the gullets of various koala-devouring beasts? Why aren’t the little frogs at right more concerned about the presence of the freakishly oversized mutant frog in their midst? How did said freakishly oversized mutant frog find a freakishly huge mutant lily pad to sit on? Why doesn’t the Doodle Zoo feature two snogs, snogging? These are serious questions and I demand answers.

Apartment 3-G, 2/18/07

I’ve been treating the totally insane Wacky Adventures of Lu Ann and Albert Pinkham Ryder storyline in Apartment 3-G with the comics-reading equivalent of covering my ears with my hands and shouting “LALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU,” but I have to admit being charmed by the look of disgust on the grim specter’s face in the second panel of the bottom row. “Oh, great, I command you not to tell them about me, and then you just go and say my name so everyone can hear it. Why don’t you just take a picture of me with your cell phone camera while you’re at it? God, I keep forgetting what a bad idea it is to haunt stupid people.”

Funky Winkerbean, 2/18/07

“This is a good start — they’re rooting for a team that’s being soundly defeated and declaring that their Friday night is wasted. But have you considered giving one of them a fatal disease? Maybe shearing off a limb? Think about it.”

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Getting a late start on the week due to Presidents Day and such … Sunday/Monday comics coming later today, but comments of the week come first! Here’s your weekly number one:

“This is why it’s important to listen to psychics. Otherwise, third-world children may live past the age of 8.” –t.a.m.s.y.

And other notables:

“I’m a little freaked out that they’re referring to an actual television show, and one that isn’t at least a decade old. I guess I always assumed RMMD took place in some other era, what with the fashions and the hairstyles and the total lack of anything resembling reality as I or anyone else on this planet has ever experienced it.” –Trilobite

“‘How does it feel? Tight, Man!’ When you’re talking to someone as cool as Weed, that Mod Squad lingo just flows right off the tongue.” –MossMoses

“‘And in the meantime, I’ve got bills to pay, get my freelance done…’ Mike. Kid. ‘I’ve got to pay bills,’ is what you’ve got to do. You’ve got to coordinate those motherfucking conjunctions, is what else.” –Josh Millard

“Maybe Weed is just summoning a seldom-seen character named ‘Party.’ After all, he’s named ‘Weed.’ Man, I hope this gets more Brechtian.” –Kevin

“The only one I can see not attending this cheap-ass frat-boy rave is everybody’s favorite Stepford fem-bot trophy wife, Deanna. She’ll be THRILLED to spend another evening watching over her brood of chattering rug-monkeys! She doesn’t hate God, so no contact with adult humans for her!!” –dreadedcandiru2

“I mean, Weed is a photographer, no? When he says the contract looks pretty good to him is he commenting on the font that was used?” –stinky pete

“Wait a minute … her name is ‘Cherry Trail’? That’s the greatest porno name on the comics page ever, with the possible exception of ‘Blondie Bumstead.'” –texlebeauf

“Why does Margo get to be spared the details of Tommie’s weekend? We were forced to watch every excrutiating detail.” –reader-who-posts

“Someone with better Spanish skills than me must have pointed out during Mary Worth’s decades of prissy terror that ‘Santa Royale’ is the lowest, lamest, whitest fake name a soulless suburban developer ever invented. Saint Royal? It’s less gauche than naming your town Olde Moneysackton.” –Decker

“The more I look on the [Snuffy Smith] strip, the more I wish I could be the kind of person who thinks the mysteries of the opposite gender are solved through a book on planets. Because honestly, my life would seem so wonderous and eventful if I were that dumb.” –Virginia

“It took Mary Worth about two days to go from ‘I’m going to Vietnam’ until she was browbeating the staff at her hotel. She’s up to a week and a half at slowly crushing Jeff’s spirit. By the first of March, she’ll have Jeff personally putting Agent Orange into the orphans’ kool-aid.” –monkey.dave

“‘These children don’t need a doctor, Jeff; what they need is a bake sale! Also, while you were away, I killed a man.'” –The Photocopiest

“I got news for you, Grifter: pull your con on someone who doesn’t live in his father-in-law’s house on a nature preserve. The guy writes fish stories for a living and only owns one set of clothes. How much coin are you going to score here?” –hogenmogen

“A3G: Ghosts. Orchids. Two subjects that ordinarily I find mildly interesting, but this strip is killing them for me. Please, A3G, don’t take up sex.” –Poteet

“Slylock Fox is going to get so much irate mail for this strip, protesting that, say, trolls aren’t fairies, and I’m going to be sad, because I won’t get to read any of it.” –notapipe

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Dennis the Menace, 2/17/07

OK, it’s official: somebody over at Dennis the Menace central thinks that spelling “vegetables” as “veg-tables” is automatically hilarious. And it’s not, OK? It’s just … not. Stop it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/17/07

“And by ‘we,’ I obviously mean ‘our dog.’ That’s why we had a V-chip installed in her brain!”

Judge Parker, 2/17/07

Wow, yesterday I thought Neddy’s weird nauseated face was supposed to represent shock and surprise; today we learn that in fact, she really is massively hung over and on the verge of hurling all over everyone waiting in line to register for classes. This will surely earn her the permanent nickname of la Barfeuse among her classmates.

Also, if her right hand gesture is any indication, she seems to have joined a gang at some point over the course of the previous night’s activities.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 2/17/07

This tale is perhaps understood a little better if we reverse the sequence. “Howzat again? Buttbrain loathes his wife with every fiber of his being, but then … when he goes to work … heh, heh … there’s no end to the inappropriate sexual advances! OH YEAH!”