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Dennis the Menace, 2/17/07

OK, it’s official: somebody over at Dennis the Menace central thinks that spelling “vegetables” as “veg-tables” is automatically hilarious. And it’s not, OK? It’s just … not. Stop it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/17/07

“And by ‘we,’ I obviously mean ‘our dog.’ That’s why we had a V-chip installed in her brain!”

Judge Parker, 2/17/07

Wow, yesterday I thought Neddy’s weird nauseated face was supposed to represent shock and surprise; today we learn that in fact, she really is massively hung over and on the verge of hurling all over everyone waiting in line to register for classes. This will surely earn her the permanent nickname of la Barfeuse among her classmates.

Also, if her right hand gesture is any indication, she seems to have joined a gang at some point over the course of the previous night’s activities.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 2/17/07

This tale is perhaps understood a little better if we reverse the sequence. “Howzat again? Buttbrain loathes his wife with every fiber of his being, but then … when he goes to work … heh, heh … there’s no end to the inappropriate sexual advances! OH YEAH!”

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Pluggers, 2/16/07

You know, sometimes you don’t know how good you have it until suddenly you have it much, much worse. For instance, for all the crimes that Pluggers has perpetrated against humor and good sense, before setting eyes on this I never had to contemplate the concept of a “sexy plugger.” Nor did I have to lay eyes on her “erotic” undergarments. Nor did I have to consider the fact that someone out there, presumably after accidentally discovering their “little plugger” masturbating furiously to Internet pornography, thought back wistfully to his own younger days, when he much more innocently masturbated furiously while spying on his next-door neighbor. Possibly after stealing her underwear off of her clothesline for use as an aid.

Slylock Fox, 2/16/07

Fun observations about this Slylock Fox:

• The Tooth Fairy is freakin’ enormous. Isn’t she usually depicted as being as tall as a finger is long?
• The Tooth Fairy has tooth-shaped earrings.
• The Tooth Fairy wears big high-heeled shoes, in spite of (or maybe because of) the fact that she can fly instead of walking.
• Kids today apparently get folding money for their teeth, rather than the quarter that was the going rate when I was a kid.
• When your trivia questions are about things that don’t exist, you can just make the answers up!

Judge Parker, 2/16/07

“Like, oh my God! I’m rich and pretty and American and I never have to wait for anything! Don’t make me vomit all over you! I’ll do it!“

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Those of you who don’t read the comments should not be denied this, from faithful reader Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener:

(DT)GT makes much more sense if you rearrange the panels from different strips at random, remove all the dialogue, translate it into Babelfish French, then reinsert the translated dialogue at random. Or at least, it provides a curious simulation of what a sports-obsessed Zippy the Pinhead might read like in French: I present five panels of Gilles Theaurpe.