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Family Circus, 6/11/05

This is the sort of trash you’re going to encounter if you insist on bringing your precious little angel onto public transportation instead of safely strapping her into her car seat in the back of your SUV as you shuttle her from strip mall to strip mall in your pristine, tattooed-hippie-free suburb. I mean, look at this guy! The tattoos are bad enough, of course, but check out the mushy red worker’s cap — he’s probably in the Wobblies or something. And his hair would almost be long enough to touch his collar — if he had a collar, which he doesn’t. Freak.

Why are Mommy and Dolly on the bus with all the ghetto puds, anyway? And why is Dolly wearing that weirdly matronly dress? Maybe Daddy got drunk and obnoxious one time too many, and Mommy grabbed her only girl-child, wrapped her up in the first thing she could find, and headed to the Greyhound station looking for a new life. Why, Mr. Magic Markers could be her new best friend! I bet he’d learn little miss mouthy some manners real quick.

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Get Fuzzy, 6/12/05

I spend so much time raging against suck here that it’s good for the soul to stop and contemplate a strip that I like once in a while. This isn’t even a particular standout of the Get Fuzzy oeuvre, but there’s much about it to like: the way the top of Rob’s head and tip of his finger just barely protrude out of the frame of the first panel, or Satchel’s varying and funny but completely recognizably dog-life facial expressions (which include his ears — the most important part of a dog’s “face”). But what caught my eye here is a silly but very in-character touch: Satchel dots his i’s with hearts, like a twelve-year-old girl. If Bucky could write, one wonders what he’d dot his i’s with — a skull and crossbones, perhaps?

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Back at the turn of the century, when I was working at a doomed San Francisco dot-com, our CEO used to say that everything was about “dollars and eyeballs.” Our job, as he put it, was to “monetize eyeballs.” (He also referred to revealing our troubled financial situation to potential investors as “opening the kimono,” but that’s a traumatic story for a different time.)

Anyway, it’s recently occurred to me that there’s a page on this site that gets an awful lot of eyeballs, but hasn’t been monetized: the comments pop-up! The way I see it, the lot of you compulsively-commenting bastards could be paying your way with lucrative ad impressions. So I’m going waste some time this afternoon trying to see if I can jimmy an ad strip onto that thing. What with my rudimentary HTML skills, you may notice that the comment page is thus a little screwed up. Don’t panic! I’ll post an update here when I think I’m done; if it’s still screwed up, then you can panic.

Update: OK, I think it’s working right. If you’re having problems with the comments page, though, please e-mail me and let me know. Screenshots are helpful.