Comment of the Week

Tune in tomorrow as Rev. Croom embarks on a new life of selective observance. He'll dine and dash (thou shalt not steal), covet Herb's wife, murder Jamaal, and make a graven image, but he'll at least call his mom to wish her a happy birthday (honor thy father and mother). The funnies haven't been this theologically bold since Judge Parker financed the construction of a giant needle big enough for a dozen camels to thread.

Abram Beazer

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Ziggy, 2/6/06

So we got off the plane in Chicago, and we had, like, 15 minutes to make our connecting flight because the plane from Tucson was late, and of course O’Hare is, like, mega-huge, and we hadn’t eaten anything (because they don’t feed you on the planes anymore because the crappy-ass food they used to serve was apparently expensive crappy-ass food) so we had to buy some second-rate pre-wrapped sandwiches that had lettuce and tomato on them and I don’t like lettuce and tomato on sandwiches (or at all, really, but even after picking them off the whole thing tasted kind of lettuce-and-tomato-y) and we had to run up moving walkways and down escalators and up more moving walkways and people wouldn’t get out of the way and then we ran up more escalators and finally got to our gate and it was only two minutes before the plane was supposed to take off and we got to our seats and then we sat down and whew and then we had to wait for the de-icing machines and sat. On. The. Tarmac. For. A. GODDAMN. HOUR.

So, what, I’m saying is, I know and you know that this Ziggy doesn’t make a single solitary iota of sense (“manages to land”? What the hell does that mean? Is it going to miss the ground and, like, stay in the air?) but after my Chicago hellscape this weekend, I appreciate its sentiment. Its the sort of cartoon I would have drawn, loopy from low blood sugar, while sitting in my too-narrow aisle seat, watching the de-icing apparatus slowly de-ice the wings — right after I drew some lovingly detailed pictures (complete with tasty odor lines) of the delicious, grease-laden, lettuce-and-tomato-free french fries I had intended to buy back when I thought my layover would be an hour long.

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Hey, what’s the perfect follow-up to a week of half-assed blogging? A week of no blogging at all, of course! Yes, we’re going on vacation in the lovely Southwest, where it’s warm warm warm, or at least not cold cold cold. Comics return on February 6.

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The Phantom, 1/27/06

Holy smokes, the situation with the Phantom’s kids is worse than I thought. It’s bad enough that Heloise (Heloise?) wants to turn this Jungle Trek into some sort of sleepover party, with a pup tent, an inflatable mattress, and a battery-powered PlayStation; Kit, on the other hand, is worried that he’s going to cramp up. What a pathetic pair. This is what comes of Bangalla’s transition to peaceful, modern democracy: they may be living in the jungle, but the twins’ tribal guardians have kept them as sheltered as any neurotic, play date-happy suburbanites. Good luck turning them into spandex-clad crime fighters, O Ghost.

Hopefully the Phantom will shake these two out of their self-absorbed little bubbles before they become mired in the endless tedium of first-world angst-ridden post-teen romance:

Luann, 1/27/06

Yeah, you know what a peck on the cheek in front of 200 people is, Brad? It’s yet more messing around with your head. Get out now while you can, for the love of God!