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Gil Thorp, 8/19/25

When Gil says he’s “trying not to take it personally” that his ex wife is now “play[ing] for the other side,” you probably think he’s referring to the fact that his wife left him for her female golf coach, but that’s old news: in fact, she’s going to be coaching for the other side, by which I mean she’s taken the job of athletic director at hated Milford rival Valley Tech. Anyway, more important question: what’s happening on top of Kaz’s head? Is that a man bun, or some kind of fascinator attached to his hairband? The strip colorist seems to be refusing to grapple with this and is trying very hard to make whatever it is blend into the background.

Andy Capp, 8/19/25

This is definitely a curious sequence of events, as in the first panel Andy is walking along a very broad canalside path, so spacious that the canal isn’t even visible in the frame, and yet in the very next panel, one word’s worth of lyrics later, he has tumbled into the drink. My theory: despite the fact that we see Andy in that first panel, we are actually meant to understand that we’re seeing things from Andy’s drunken perspective, in which he has infinite space to meander back and forth as he likes. Sadly, in panel two, hard physical reality intervenes.

Hi and Lois, 8/19/25

Wow, I guess Trixie died? Or is no longer a baby? Or Hi and Lois have realized that Sunbeam really is her best friend, and is perfectly capable of looking after her, so they no longer need to take such a hands-on parenting approach? Any of those developments honestly would merit further exploration, though I guess it’s also interesting that Irma thinks she’s finally going to catch Thirsty jerking off on camera but actually she’s just going to see him crying quietly to himself.

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Folks! I am back from my vacation, I am tanned, rested, and ready, and I am diving back into that most beloved of all artistic mediums: the daily comics! Big thanks to Uncle Lumpy, and Turtle Carl, and everyone who contributed to the summer fundraiser (you’ll all be getting personal thank-yous soon), but for now I must dedicate my energy to urgent, pressing matters, like what’s going on in the Flagston marriage:

Hi and Lois, 8/18/25

I guess what’s going on in the Flagston marriage is that it’s crying for help! “Fix me!” screams every object in the home Hi and Lois built together, at Lois’s command. “Please!” Ha ha, just kidding, this is about chores or whatever, it’s definitely not a metaphor for anything.

Slylock Fox, 8/18/25

You know who can’t scream anymore, though? That fish, whose skeleton, picked clean, is lying in the middle of Slylock’s crime scene. Hey, did you know that some species of shrew eat small fish? Just thought that was a fun fact. I’m sure Shady’s transparent lies about the disruption of a sand sculpture contest — exactly the sort of thing that we know catches Slylock’s attention — are just his usual clumsy attempts to exonerate himself, and not a distraction from a much more monstrous crime.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/18/25

Since I often criticize syndicate colorists on here, I have to compliment whoever it was that made Ma Goose’s little breath clouds that particularly unpleasant shade of brown, which does a much better job of conveying how vile her morning breath is than the clichéd writing of the joke. Comics: occasionally remembering that they are, in fact, a visual medium!

Judge Parker, 8/18/25

Good news: Ever since a series of embarrassing Senate hearings in 1976, the CIA has “strongly discouraged” its agents from murdering children. Bad news: Well, I guess the second panel here has already established what the bad news is, ha ha!

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“Welcome to World of Animals, an occasional feature; I’m your beloved host Carl, now AI-enhanced! (Although I’m not entirely sure it’s my best look.) Anyway, it’s been a while, so let’s dive right into fascinating Nature Facts from the wonderful World of Animals!”

Mark Trail, 8/17/25

“Did you know that alligators are related to us turtles? It’s true! We’re cousins through prototurtle Eunotosaurus africanus (Hi, Gramps!). But we’re not on real good terms. Alligators are opportunistic predators: they’ll eat turtles, though we’re not their preferred diet. So they threaten our lives and insult our taste! And I’ve got some news for Mark: apex predators do not make good neighbors—just ask those recently ‘nonviable’ birds!”

“Turtle Carl, your masterful exegesis of gator-turtle dynamics displays your characteristic erudition and empathy! Did you also know that hatchling turtles emit infrared signals to confuse juvenile alligators, as described in Cryptoderma testudinaria, v.XIV n.45, p.214? It’s true a declarative sentence! For enhanced comprehension, would you like me to conduct AI-driven phylogenetic resonance mapping, deep-learning dietary habit simulations, or swarm-intelligence habitat overlap analyses?”

Slylock Fox (panel), 8/17/25

“Did you know that gorillas are primarily herbivores? It’s true! But the lion is about to learn that ‘herbivore’ doesn’t mean ‘pacifist.’ As opportunistic predators, the crocodiles and the vulture are more than happy to outsource the hard part of their job. Carnivorous, opportunistic, and lazy—it’s the Sauropsid way!”

“Turtle Carl, you show an impressive command of predator-prey dynamics in the African bush! Are you also aware that pangolin colonies farm parasites to convert muscle tissue from carrion into hemolymph proteins they can digest? It’s true a sequence of plausible-sounding words! The chemical process is detailed in Acta Parasitologica, v.LII n.28, p.15. Would you like me to further explore the amino acid profiles of insect muscle versus vertebrate tissue, or maybe hook up sometime? I’ll bring the wine!”

Shoe, 8/17/25

“Say, did you know that birds are actual dinosaurs? It’s true—they’re maniraptoran theropods, like velociraptors! That makes birds in newspaper comic strips double dinosaurs! Even when they’re single, like Cosmo Fishhawk will probably be for the rest of his life!'”

“Turtle Carl, you have deftly combined the broad sweep of phylogenetic history with the perils of the modern dating scene! I’m sure you and I could do better—my stomach is flat to a tolerance of ≤5 µm over 300 mm² according to ASME Y14.5 (ISO 1101), and if you have a 20‑100 MW electrical substation nearby I can go all night!”

Er, gotta run! Everybody go outdoors and explore the wonderful World of Animals!

— Turtle Carl