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Mary Worth, 10/8/21

Yes, it’s true: when you see someone that you ended up dumping because they got mad at your cat for ruining your singalongs, and somehow that’s not even the most embarrassing thing they ever did to you, stunned silence is the most logical response! You should be stunned that you let this man come in physical contact with you, and perhaps should do some silent meditation on why you thought that was somehow better than just being single!

Hi and Lois, 10/8/21

Congrats to Hi and Lois for getting from “wow, folks today aren’t tucking in their shirts, pretty crazy” to “have you heard about non-fungible tokens, the new way to sell unique digital art on the blockchain?” in only 72 hours. It’s been a real roller coaster ride!

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Blondie, 10/7/21

This is a perfectly sweet little strip and I’m sorry but I can’t stop thinking about the fact that famous binge eater Dagwood Bumstead is making this proposal to his dog when she’s already chewing her treat. Now I’m just sitting here imagining the unseen fourth panel where he’s yelling “SPIT IT IN MY MOUTH, GIRL! SPIT IT IN DADDY’S MOUTH!”

Beetle Bailey, 10/7/21

OK, I know I said I had long ago dropped the Beetle/Sarge sex jokes, but you can’t deny that Sarge’s smile as he imagines himself haunting Beetle’s dreams is very erotically charged.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/7/21

Oh hey, remember how a shadowy cabal tried to pull former military badass Jordan back for one last job, but he turned them down? Well, good news! While the shadowy cabal is disappointed that they won’t get to team up with their good and talented friend Jordan, they respect his right to make his own life choices. I trust this is the last we’ll hear about the subject.

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Mary Worth, 10/6/21

“Bonjour, mes amis! Eet ees your old friend Pierre here, and today I find myself in a conundrum that would baffle even my countryman Jean Baudrillard! For what, in zees strange parc chien, is real, and what is a seemulacrum? Zees fire hydrant, for instance: nowhere close to any beeldeengs, presumably not connected to zee plumbing, existing only as a wheemsical reminder of zee urban spaces zees park dwellers have rejected! Where once dogs, like people, lived in embedded in a shared urban landscape and repurposed its functional artifacts for their own uses — making water, in zee case of zee hydrants — now we reside in a suburban form, in which activities are segmented by geography, and space has been set aside only for dogs to run and peess. And yet some part of zees people, zees new breed of Homo suburbicus, longs for the city they can only deemly remember, and zo zey put up zees false fire hydrant as a sort of memento mori for a lost way of life! And zees other dog, zees lady Frenchie — uncannily like myself, as eef my very essence was captured, copied, fleeped 180 degrees, recolored, and given some feminine seegnifiers! Truly a baffling experience, like barking into a mirror! At least it is deestracting me from Weelbur’s flirting. When the man adopted me, I thought, ‘Surely I will never have to weetness this man making love to another human being,’ but I may have been meestaken! A troubling prospect, non?”

Daddy Daze, 10/6/21

This may be my favorite Daddy Daze yet, in that it gets to what I believe to be the true heart of the strip, which is that the Daddy Daze daddy is in fact a sad, lonely man slipping into insanity and the Daddy Daze baby is really beside the point, except insomuch as his mother will have to care for him full time once his father goes truly around the bend. Note that in today’s strip there’s not even a pretense that the Daddy Daze baby is using his “ba” language to participate in whatever madness his father has going on.

Judge Parker, 10/6/21

Hey, remember when April went to prison? And then later, when Judge Parker senior went to prison? Well, what if everybody in this strip goes to prison, eventually?