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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/10/21

As the world’s greatest newspaper comics strip blogger and also a narcissist, I often just kind of assume that stuff in the comics is about me! I mean, sometimes it absolutely is, but more often than not it probably isn’t. So, yes, those of you with long memories might remember that my Kickstarted book The Enthusiast was released, uh, several years after my originally promised publish date. But then it came out and everyone liked it! (If this is all news to you, you should definitely buy my book.) Anyway, in probably unrelated news it turns out that beloved Kitty Cop creator Kyle Vidpa, despite being too busy to answer or even read his fan mail, is having a little bit of a writer’s block problem as he tries to churn out the next entry in his wildly successful book series. And I relate! It’s hard to do anything else when you know you’ve got a big project to finish that you’re stuck on! Frankly, this lady (his wife? assistant?) needs to back off with the passive aggression! Maybe she should spend some time forging his signature on some replies to fans, huh? That would actually be helpful!

Mary Worth, 5/10/21

My favorite thing here is that Ashlee apparently hasn’t stopped crying or didn’t bother to wipe her smeared mascara off her face for the entire duration of their trip from the hospital to Tony’s. My second favorite thing is that Drew expects her to believe that he couldn’t skip work in order to help her build her Instagram brand even though he can obviously just clock out and enjoy a leisurely pizza lunch whenever some deranged lady he’s met exactly once shows up at his workplace weeping hysterically.

Dick Tracy, 5/10/21

Hey, remember Sam Catchem’s dumb hat? The one that makes him look like a leprechaun, even though he’s canonically Jewish? Well, it’s apparently strong enough to block a sniper’s bullet blow-dart! Or maybe Abner’s dart gun just isn’t powerful enough to penetrate an ordinary hat. That’s much lamer and therefore probably closer to the truth.

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Crankshaft, 5/9/21

“He says that right before someone burns down a building for the insurance money. Happens more often than you’d think! Anyway, that disinfectant is flammable, right?”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 5/9/21

YES

FINALLY

GRIMM IS GOING DOWN FOR HIS CRIMES

Panels from Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/9/21

STOP TRYING TO TRICK US INTO THINKING ANYONE WOULD BE EXCITED ABOUT TALKING TO BUCK, REX MORGAN, M.D.

ABSOLUTELY NOBODY WANTS TO TALK TO BUCK

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Judge Parker, 5/8/21

You ever spend like 15 minutes of your day staring at a comic strip character’s ear? Zooming in on the image file while yelling “Enhance! ENHANCE!” at nobody in particular? No? You haven’t? That’s just me, a guy who started a comics blog on a lark in 2004 and this is my life now? Well, anyway, I’ve spent some time looking in April’s right ear, and it certainly doesn’t look like she’s wearing an earpiece, and you’d think that she would’ve lost access to any truly invisible gee-whiz tech when she parted company with the CIA. Maybe she’s just doing the “putting her finger to her ear so she can listen to her earpiece better” thing to impress Randy? Or maybe she’s just using her spy instincts and I’m misinterpreting it. “Twinge in my knee? That means a rainstorm’s brewing. Twinge in my jaw? That means they’re coming.”

Crankshaft, 5/8/21

You ever open the comics page and get the distant echo of a joke that probably seemed extremely topical and funny a year ago, when it was written? That’s gonna be the experience of reading the Funkyverse strips for the next who knows how long!