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Hagar the Horrible, 7/31/20

Of course, we associate Vikings with violent large-scale raiding expeditions against Western Europe in the 9th and 10th centuries, but it was really the small-scale acts of plunder that made up the emotional texture of their day-to-day lives.

Shoe, 7/31/20

I appreciate the way the bookseller has walked around the counter to stand right next to the Perfesser, so they can both stare directly at the reader together through the window as he recites this extremely on-the-nose punchline.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/31/20

Grimm is going to go … pee in somebody’s car, I guess?

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Crankshaft, 7/30/20

The Valentine Theater is the passion project for Crankshaft’s grandson Max, and as the owner and a true cinephile, you’d think he’d be mad about, for instance, people just talking at full volume during the movies, and that he’d try to prevent it, even if the offenders were his parents. I assume this conversation is happening because, despite The Phantom Empire being fairly well known and regarded by film history buffs, no actual paying customers have shown up to see it. Can’t believe this theater isn’t going to go out of business for another ten years!

Beetle Bailey, 7/30/30

I honestly love the twisted, tongue-centered riff on Cinderella in today’s Beetle Bailey. Look at how mad General Halftrack is! Those eyes! The rage! His age- and booze-addled brain couldn’t retain the face of the man who sassed him, but he’ll never forget the tongue. The vision of it haunts him at night. It haunts him.

Dennis the Menace, 7/30/20

Every menace we encounter is just a second-order byproduct of the one true primeval menace, which is insatiable need

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Pluggers, 7/29/20

You know, sometimes I feel like you guys don’t appreciate what I go through to bring you the densely referenced metatextual content you’ve come to expect here on josh reads dot com, so I thought I’d pull back the curtain on the “process” behind this post I’m writing right now, which involved searching my archives for posts that featured Pluggers and contained the word “dying.” Was it harrowing? You bet. But it was worth it because I confirmed my hunch: as a rule a plugger only owns one suit, and his primary reason for wearing it is to go to a funeral. You can understand why he might eventually buy some more, though, what with the constant parade of death and their bodies waxing and waning with the vagaries of their medication regimen. That’s what I love about these pluggers, man: I get bigger, and they stay the same age (i.e., dead).

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/29/20

GET IT, REX? ARE YOU GETTING THE PICTURE? THE MEDICAL PRACTICE COMES AT A PRICE, AND IT’S A LOT MORE THAN A DOLLAR