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Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/23/25

Oh, I’m sorry, did you think that Buck Wise would decorate his lawn with a boring, pedestrian “inflatable” of the Grinch or some similar garbage? Why, that would be like asking Glenwood’s #1 promoter of roots country/”Ameripolitan” bullshit to jam out to Taylor Swift or the hip-hop music or whatever. Sorry, Buck is getting into the Christmas spirit with the vintage blow mold figures that he drained Corey’s college fund to buy on eBay and whose original and authentically frayed electrical cords represent a significant fire hazard.

Hi and Lois, 12/23/25

Not sure what potential interpretation I like more here: that this is a plan the Flagstons and Thurstons cooked up together that’s gone horribly awry, or that Thirsty simply showed up at his friend’s door, dressed as Santa and visibly drunk, and bullied his way inside to spread a little Christmas cheer to the neighbor kids. Either way the fact that “Santa’s sack” is clearly just an extra-large Hefty garbage bag full of who knows what really adds to the delightfully bad vibes.

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Alice, 12/22/25

One of the distinctive features of Alice comics is the little … title? caption? … that goes in the bottom margin. Usually it just sort of adds to the vibe, but sometimes it’s important for the narrative. For instance, real Alice fans (which I assume include all of you) know that just a few weeks ago she was declaring that new cars don’t need “all that stuff,” and it’s making them too expensive. So you’d be tempted to angrily declare “Alice! I can’t believe you’re backsliding on all the features new cars have!” except then you look down at the bottom of the panel and see the word “backsliding,” so you know she’s being self-aware about it.

Shoe, 12/22/25

Speaking of real fans, real Shoe fans instantly recognize “Madame Zoo Doo,” the strip’s resident psychic, just from her character design. I personally don’t think it’s realistic that she’d bring her crystal ball with her to lunch at Roz’s diner. It’s not necessary and frankly a little insulting to think that we wouldn’t recognize her without it. I demand that my relationship with this syndicated newspaper comic about depressed bird-people be grounded in mutual respect!

Mary Worth, 12/22/25

Wait, is Toby changing her plans because she wants to spend more time with Sunny, and she can’t at her friend’s opening? Because “A semi-professional art gallery in a small California college town has a strict no-birds policy” is actually one of the less realistic propositions Mary Worth has ever offered us.

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Crock, 12/21/25

I kind of like the worldbuilding in today’s Crock, which implies that Magi simply spontaneously generate in desert climes, and can be instinctively attracted to your location by any large star-shaped object. I feel less affection for the final panel, though. Look at those faces: our heroes from the legion are definitely going to kill the Magi, right? Kill them, and possibly eat them?

Dennis the Menace, 12/21/25

This young woman’s “What are you doing here?” is a wholly appropriate expression of surprise. If Dennis’s parents allow him to just roam the neighborhood unsupervised, why do they bother to hire babysitters at all?

Mary Worth, 12/21/25

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And I will definitely set a woman’s parrot against her husband. I cannot emphasize enough that I did not come to bring peace to the households of woman-man-parrot triads. Please do not use the occasion of my birth to give others false hope that parrots and husbands can live in harmony with one another, because they very much cannot.”