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Mary Worth, 5/10/19

Aw, isn’t that sweet! Mary has decided to bring her former cat Libby a tuna casserole, and has to make a pro forma offer to share with Estelle, the human who agreed to contain Libby’s allergy-prompting dander in her apartment so as not to damper on Mary’s sex life. Sadly, Estelle is now feral with grief and isolation after spending weeks alone in her darkened apartment, so she lunges at Mary, desperate for human contact. And this, if I’m reading the angles here properly, is about to result in a tray full of gooey, piping-hot casserole hurled skyward, only to flop down on Mary and Estelle and inflict delicious second degree burns onto their faces. Libby will be happily eating tuna casserole off the floor long after Mary and Estelle have been taken to the hospital.

Blondie, 5/10/19

Gotta love how Dagwood doesn’t really have a sense of aesthetics or joy in watching a man practice his craft or anything like that. His favorite part is when they take it out of the oven, because that’s the part right before he gets to eat it. He wants to eat it. He needs to eat it. He hungerssssssss

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Mary Worth, 5/9/19

Gotta appreciate the efficient storytelling in today’s Mary Worth! Estelle’s unkempt hair and vague reference to the “several” days it’s been since she heard from “Arthur” let us know that she’s entered a sort of sad fugue state, not bathing or leaving the apartment or talking to anyone other than her only mildly interested cat. I just want to point out that, now that you can get staples like CAT CHOW delivered to your door by Amazon, Estelle could keep this up for weeks, becoming a Miss Havisham of the condo complex, until Mary or Toby finally get bored with whatever they’re up to and decide to check on her.

Dustin, 5/9/19

So for those of you who aren’t, like me, getting really drawn into learning about and immediately disliking the minutia of Dustin, this lady here works at Dustin’s temp agency, and she’s always trying to find temp assignments for him but he keeps screwing them up and getting fired because ha ha millennials, amiright? Anyway, today she doesn’t like Siri because … get this … it doesn’t understand sarcasm! This joke probably would’ve landed better if we had seen her attempting to look something up sarcastically, like “Hey Siri, find me a job for my favorite client, the extremely task-oriented and reliable Dustin,” but I get that all that dialogue would take away from three solid panels of a lady looking at her phone while a dude looks at her from the other side of a desk.

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Hagar the Horrible, 5/8/19

I guess it looks like Merlin is joining the cast of Hagar the Horrible regulars, even though strictly speaking he’s a figure from 6th century Britain and not 10th century Norway. Still, this strip fits in well with the overall Hagar the Horrible milieu: in an era of widespread illiteracy, Eddie’s ability to scratch out a few runes makes him seem almost magical to his fellow Vikings.

Family Circus, 5/8/19

Are those … stink lines coming out of Jeffy’s bowl? Has feeding time in the Kean Kompound devolved so far into chaos that the kids are getting spoiled milk in their breakfast cereal? My god, just think of the farting. The farting. What a nightmare!

Mark Trail, 5/8/19

Doc may be an addled old man who believes in magic gold mines, but you gotta give him this: when he hears what might be a swarm of bees, or maybe an armed Predator drone, he doesn’t stand around like a sitting duck loudly saying stuff like “Hey, everyone, listen to the sound! Do you hear the sound?” or “The sound is a buzzing sound” or “Yeah, what is that sound, the buzzing sound we’re all talking about?” He just throws on his backpack and gets the hell out of there.