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Comment of the week? Comment … of the week!

“Sure, the rhythm is important — like my Pappy used to say, ‘KA-WHACK before WHACK, that gator’ll be back’ — but it’s all just wasted effort without a hearty ‘Get out of here!’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

Runners up? Also very funny!

“It’s kind of weird that Wilbur brought up his Matrix fandom as a way of proving he’s young and hip. He could have mentioned a popular movie that’s in theaters now — say, Joker — although the idea of a sad middle-aged loser who’s driven crazy by his anger at the world might hit just a little too close to home. Then there’s Doctor Sleep, about a sad middle-aged loser who’s driven crazy by… on second thought, maybe they should discuss music instead. I bet Garth Brooks is a favorite of both Wilbur and Zak’s dad!” –BigTed

“Is Zak an android? All he does during these trying situations is to smile. Is this how he manages his company? ‘You’re fired! [with big grin]’” –Government Cheese

“People reading the strip now weren’t around to read those WWII strips, so we are free to place Snuffy’s military service in any era we choose, ignoring the fact that for most of the strip’s history Snuffy has been shown fighting in armed conflict against agents of the US Government, especially the Treasury Department.” –seismic-2

“Dennis, get out of there and let the poor man enjoy his box of electric picture frames in peace.” –Peanut Gallery

“Visually, the saddest thing about today’s strip is Wilbur’s disheveled combover, which he had spent so much time meticulously styling before he started fortifying himself with ‘liquid courage.’ In a way, the combover is symbolic of Wilbur himself: At its worst, it looks terrible; at its best, it’s not going to impress any ladies in the least; and in the final analysis, it’s probably best to keep it covered up as much as possible.” –Guy Lumbago

“I think the Howells are about to be tried in a far higher court than ours. King Triton is a vindictive mofo, I’m trying to say, and I hear he still holds a grudge about how Ariel was treated by the humans shortly after the credits rolled.” –Ubiquitous Bob

“You know what’s really sad? Estelle will forever associate Zak and Iris as ‘Wilbur’s friends,’ while Zak and Iris will classify Estelle as ‘Wilbur’s girlfriend’. You have a source of suffering in common! It is a sound foundation of solidarity and brotherhood!” –Ettorre

“Which animal has the shortest lifespan? Whichever one makes the mistake of getting picked up for a drunk-and-disorderly in the upper east side of the Forest Kingdom. You can tell by the look on the cop’s face that this bear will be having a tragic mishap while ‘resisting arrest.’” –jroggs

“Estelle has spicy diarrhea, which made her think of Wilbur. It’s a little unfair to compare the two, because the decision that lead to the former would have been at least briefly enjoyable.” –Rosstifer

“Nothing makes a plugger wife unhappier than to know her husband is happy. Nothing makes a plugger husband happier than to know his wife is unhappy. The Circle of Life, Plugger Style!” –Only Here For The Ads

“Mary Worth could have put an Elder sign on that door. They could have used the Yellow Sign, and had the door open to grim Carcosa, where the King in Yellow awaits brooding. They could have revealed Wilbur’s true form, a shoggoth wearing human clothes. They could have given up Mary’s great secret, that she is ageless in mind and form, that she has been and always will be, that she advised pharaohs and darkling gods. But no. They’re just going to give us some old woman’s anxiety dream. Thanks for nothing.” –Voshkod

“This works better if you imagine it as the start to a very specific cuck fantasy.” –Rube

“I like that Estelle’s unconscious mind assumes that Wilbur reproduces parthenogenetically, like some kind of big dorky amoeba. I mean, it’s plausible.” –pugfuggly

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Pluggers, 11/15/19

“What would a young one think a ‘telephone book’ is? Probably a catalog of smartphones — that is, a printed multipage document, filled with pictures and pricing information for various models of smartphones, which gets delivered to you in the mail or you pick up at a cell phone store. Once you’ve picked the smartphone you want, you’d call up the company to buy it, or maybe fill out a form from the back of the catalog and send a check along with it. I’m sure this is a real concept that kids are familiar with, and that they associate with the phrase ‘telephone book.’” –A plugger, apparently

Mary Worth, 11/15/19

Hard to know what to even say that could add to this objectively perfect strip. I guess what really makes it work is that it viscerally makes us understand what it’s like for Estelle to have a nightmare about Wilbur siring four identical Wilburbabies with her, because after seeing that second panel we’ll all be seeing those same Wilburbabies in our own nightmares tonight, and every other night until death finally takes us.

The Lockhorns, 11/15/19

“So, did you bring a dish? I said it was pot luck. You know what that means, right? A meal where people bring dishes to share? It’s a pretty standard English word.”

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Funky Winkerbean, 11/14/19

It’s actually been kind of amazing over the years to watch Les get lavished with more and more praise and material benefits even as his personality veers further from “irritating” into “completely insufferable.” This week, we’re finally getting the closure we’ve wanted about Bull’s suicide arc, and that closure is naturally all about Les. Remember, in the early, “fun” days of the strip, Bull was a vicious bully who made ever day of Les’s life a living hell; ever since the various time jumps, the strip has tried to retcon it so that secretly Bull liked and respected Les all along, even when they were kids, and Linda has invited Les over to make sure he knows this. Why, Bull had even been donating money to Lisa’s Legacy Fund all this time, unbeknownst to Les, even though they were friends and colleagues for years as adults and there was no real reason for Bull not to tell him, and Les is also presumably in charge of all the finances of Lisa’s Legacy Fund so he would’ve known anyway. But still, what really counts is that Linda is spending her mourning making sure Les knows how beloved and respected he, personally, is.

And hey, you might’ve noticed from that old strip linked above that way back before time jump #2 Bull and Linda were talking about adopting a child! Well, after the time jump, they had in fact adopted her and she was a teen, and we haven’t seen her in years and years and years but probably she’s … dealing with her father’s death in her own way? Her response isn’t as important as Les’s, of course, but it might be an interesting part of this storyline to explore, just a suggestion!

Family Circus, 11/14/19

One Family Circus narrative conceit I really enjoy is when Billy (age 7) subs for Daddy as the artist for the Family Circus. There’s just so many narrative layers involved! First, it acknowledges that Big Daddy Keane within the world of the strip is both a character and the universe’s creator; then, of course, there’s the fact that real Bil Keane passed away years ago, and that the strip is now drawn not by Glen Keane (the real-life Billy analogue) but rather the grown-up Jeffy, pretending to be his father pretending to be his brother. Today, he’s really leaning into the fact that his version of his father’s version of his brother (age 7) sure sucks at drawing the Family Circus! Look at this chump’s hackwork! He can’t even draw a circle properly! He’s going to ruin the family business! Probably it should be handed down to one of the other sons, I guess?

Mary Worth, 11/14/19

“Mary Worth ill-advised wedding dream sequence” is a phrase that I never knew until this moment that I so badly wanted to see acted out. The giant question mark obviously represents Estelle’s questions about her future with Wilbur, which somehow haven’t been answered quite definitively by a week of drunken antics, but I really hope that the door pops open tomorrow and we see The Riddler, there to perform the ceremony.

Pluggers, 11/14/19

You’re a plugger if you refuse to give your wife this one thing, just one thing, just dress nicely just this once, no matter how happy it would make her.