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My friends, tonight, YOU can see my and other hilarious people do COMEDY JOKES on stage at 8 pm, if you’re in Los Angeles! What are you waiting for? Commit your body and soul by telling Facebook that you’re going!

Even if you don’t come to my show, you still deserve love, and joy, and so forth, and you can get that love and joy from your comment … of the week!

“Bold move for Dick Tracy to start implicating other legacy comic characters of grisly crimes. After this story arc, maybe he should pivot to Jon Arbuckle, and see if we can find out what REALLY happened to Lyman.” –SideshowJon

And your very hilarious runners up!

“Be sure to mention that sweet boombox in your updated Silverdaters profile, Estelle! Unless you think it’s a gold digger magnet, that is.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“That’s right, seniors, when you’re ready to get back into the game of love, come to SilverDaters.com, the only dating website that requires your scam payments to be made in easily accessible silver! Don’t be fooled by imitators, like GoldDaters.com, which is filled with gold diggers, or CryptoDaters.com, which makes you pay your love ransom in some weird e-currency! Remember what our spokesman, William Jennings Bryan, always says: ‘You shall not press down upon the brow of horny seniors this crown of crypto; you shall not crucify gullible spinsters upon a cross of gold!’ SilverDaters.com. Where ‘bi’ stands for bimetallism!” –Voshkod

“There’s definitely something afoot here. Birds don’t have sweat glands. Did this imposter kill the real candle shop owner and stuff her corpse into the AC unit? Will Slylock be able to mentally move past the factoids about the melting point of wax and principles of thermodynamics in time to bring this murderer to justice? Can’t wait to see how this one turns out!” –jroggs

“If only we’d made the walls pitch black to match the carpets!” –Rosstifer

“It’s not particularly rebellious if no one is trying to stop you from doing it.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“But really, the fact that I looked at the picture without reading the text and thought ‘shady shrew’ tells me that Slylock is going to be useless at anything that doesn’t involve fixing blame. Maybe she should have called someone with STEM skills, like Count Weirdly?” –Richardf8

“I have no idea what Pam & Jeff’s son’s name is, but I’m hoping that it’s ‘Bob,’ because having a couple in which both partners have palindromic names would be adorable (until they get cancer).” –Pozzo

“I realize that public-private partnerships are all the rage, but I still think it’s pathetic that the D.A. has to share his sumptuous office space with a chai bar and a banking branch of a Catholic militia group.” –Peanut Gallery

“You might not have guessed it would be better to have the main character named Underwear, but here we are.” –pachoo

“The crossover nobody dared to imagine. Wait, did I write ‘dared to?’ I meant ‘bothered to.’” –GeoGreg

“I wanna talk about that kid who’s got BOTH backpack straps over one shoulder. Absolute legend.” –@TheWillThe, on Twitter

“What’s sad is that Estelle confused an ad for an online travel service on the SilverDaters website as a profile. She calls them twice a day, and when they get sick of explaining her mistake to her, they put her on hold. She’s actually been singing along with Michael McDonald’s cover of ‘Walking in Memphis.’” –pugfuggly

“Six Chix is attempting to reboot the infamous ’60s sitcom My Mother, The Cabernet.” –Cotton Candy Beard

“Look, I’m sorry if we seemed a bit elitist, but having us read Animal Farm isn’t going to make us any more accepting of your Furry lifestyle!” –JJ48

“The little miracle here is that Marvin himself is prevented from saying, doing, or thinking anything for two whole panels. He doesn’t even give a knowing look to the audience. I’m gonna call this a win.” –Joe Blevins

“It’ll take more than one colonel to potty train Marvin. It will take a team of elite CIA officers employing a Clockwork Orange scenario. In the end, he’ll be a nearly-functional adult, but will break down and run to the nearest bathroom at the first note of a Beethoven symphony.” –Dread

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Sunday 2am: A weekly webcomic about life, love, happiness, creme-filled snacks (and only occasionally talking animals).

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/7/19

I regret to inform you that Barney Google is not only interacting with Beetle Bailey but is in fact crossing over with the entire family of trusted King Features comic brands. His whimsical journey got real dark today, as he and Spark Plug encounter the secret holding room — a drab holding cell, without any art or decoration of any kind — where all of the syndicate’s babies are warehoused in between bouts of saying or thought-ballooning the darndest things. Yes, PJ, Trixie, Marvin, the (I think) baby from Baby Blues and, uh, some other baby are left alone for days at a time, presumably stewing in their own dirty diapers. Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t bring horses inside, for, uh, diaper-related reasons? Jesus, years of making fun of Marvin have really damaged my brain.

Marvin, 6/7/19

Speaking of which, here’s today’s Marvin, which is about pissing yourself! But, more importantly, it’s also about the fact that in the Marvinverse, the Army’s officer corps has become a sort of hereditary aristocracy, with ranks handed down from father to son and a military ethos pervading every aspect of members’ lives, right down to bathroom stuff.

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Mary Worth, 6/6/19

Estelle has yet another Silverdater prospect on the line and she says that the goal is not to carry on a long-running virtual relationship and then wire him ten grand, but to rather meet him in person and have a regular romance where no large sums of money are exchanged, but then also … they’re getting to the point where they’re singing on the phone? I feel like once you get to the singing on the phone part you should probably just meet in person. But you do you, Estelle! Just don’t send him any money! That’s the bad part of “doing you,” the way you do it!

Gil Thorp, 6/6/19

Ah, yes, just as in the world of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, our “Too Cool For School” clique’s move towards liberation merely created another hierarchy, with themselves at the top. Now they’ll be forced to esteem all passions absolutely equally, even though some of them are objectively much dorkier than other, just like in the world of Kurt Vonnegut’s “Harrison Bergeron.” I guess the real lesson here is that no matter what these girls do, there will be some piece of canonical mid-20th century allegorical literature there to let them know they’re doing it wrong!

Six Chix, 6/6/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because if you drink too much wine, you’ll start to hate yourself! This has been a public service announcement from Six Chix.