Post Content

Spider-Man, 9/25/18

The thing about the super-hero genre is that it features lots of high-stakes combat but also (sorry, Mopey Pete) is mostly marketed to children, so there’s a bit of tension about exactly how far we should go in depicting the consequences of said high-stakes combat, and specifically the consequences on human bodies. Usually the way they get around this is by having a lot of the battling taking the form of just people punching each other, in a super fashion, and we can kind of gloss over that because punching someone out doesn’t really hurt them, shattered organs and traumatized brains aside. But Colleen Wing is wading into this mass of bad guys swinging around a god-damned sword, which by right ought to be leaving behind a trail of severed limbs and thugs writhing on the floor as they die from massive blood loss. Maybe she’s just … bad at swords? Despite swords being her whole thing? Truly, a worthy partner to Spider-Man!

Mark Trail, 9/25/18

Wow, I had assumed that this artifact-smuggling ring was full of dweebuses and losers like sleepy, drooly Jo(s)e and glasses-and-polo-shirt-tucked-into-jeans dude, who I guess is named “Pablo.” But now we finally get to meet the extremely cool member of their criminal gang: a bad-ass, motorcycle-riding, headband-and-skull-belt wearing dude who gets called in when the scheme finally gets to the point where they have to … murder some children? I just want to emphasize to everyone reading at home that murdering children isn’t cool. It’s just that, if your gang has to kill a couple of kids, that’s something you’re going to want your coolest member to do.

Shoe, 9/25/18

The only corrupt politician we’ve ever seen in Shoe is Senator Belfrey, who, despite what I assume have been the best efforts of the Treetop Tribune and its crusading staff of investigative reporters, has remained in office since the strip began running in 1977. No wonder Shoe always seems so uptight!

Beetle Bailey, 9/25/18

“I want this locker full of severed human feet by 0900 tomorrow! Get it together, soldier!”

Post Content

Crankshaft, 9/24/18

Hmm, is Crankshaft adding a new character to its cast? Or is this old lady someone who appeared years ago and I never knew about her or perhaps forgot? At any rate, I’m very looking forward to a plot where once again Darla Gillespie organizes her class reunion, making meticulous preparations but hoping that this is the year when nobody shows up because they’ve all died and she can finally declare herself the winner of the tontine.

Gil Thorp, 9/24/18

Oh, I’m sorry, is Tiki Jansen not a star? Maybe if we consider “star” an inadequate term for a guy who blocks field goals by jumping, like … 10, 20 feet in the air? I’m not a scientist, but that seems pretty impressive. Anyway, here’s hoping for an all special teams fall plot! Just Marty Moon watching botched kick after botched kick, his eyes bugging out in shellshocked awe!

Family Circus, 9/24/18

The commands of the God of Christianity have failed to restrain Jeffy’s sinful behavior, so his mother has, sadly, been forced to turn to witchcraft.

Post Content

Six Chix, 9/23/18

My first read on this was that the two sad/angry/scrunch-faced/???? characters on the left were upset that their cruel boss was forcing them to come up with new fees, since they just wanted to offer checking accounts on honest terms to decent folks, just like banks did back in the day. But with all the crumpled up papers and charts denoting declining profits on display, I guess we’re meant to understand that they’re all in it together, trying to extract every last dime from their customers before the whole system comes crashing down. The lady in the middle is going into a full-on panic fugue state, so move all your savings into bitcoin or canned goods, probably!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/23/18

Snuffy and Lukey are laughing not at their own terrible wordplay, of course, but because they know that they’ll cut those trees down years before they mature enough to produce any fruit, either to patch their decaying hovels or simply to burn for heat.