Archive: Family Circus

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/17/26

Wow, this is actually really depressing to me. I thought that Uncle (?) Rene was a mentor in scammery to his nieces — but part of being a mentor is telling hard truths to the upcoming generation so they can improve their craft! If fake busking is as dumb an idea as it seems, Jean and Jane need to hear it from someone they trust before they dedicate too much time and energy into it! You know, boomers complain about “everyone gets a trophy” culture but they were the ones handing out the trophies. Step up, Rene, for the future of scamdom!

Family Circus, 7/17/26

Even the best parents sometimes run out of patience and snap at their kids and say things they regret, and when their kids act out on the pain they feel by passing it along to their own toys in heartbreaking moments of “make-believe” that are all too real, that’s … funny? Parents find this cute, and would cut it out and hang it on the fridge, for others to look at?

Gil Thorp, 7/17/26

Ha ha, that all got kind of grim! Well, here’s some happy news: Gil Thorp’s finally getting married! Well, I guess it’s not happy if you were hoping to snag him yourself. All I can say is that you’ve had three and a half years to work on that, and it hasn’t worked out, plus he’s a character in a comic strip. Move on, already!

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Beetle Bailey, 6/12/26

Whoa, looks like America’s foremost military-themed comic strip is going to take on the extremely current and relevant topic of women in the military! Anyway, a woman shouldn’t be in the military, because what if a guy hits on her in the middle of combat, and then she murders him with the gun that they give you before they send you into combat.

Family Circus, 6/12/26

I do enjoy the cold, calculating way in which Grandma is regarding Dolly here. “Oh, I could tell her the exact date and time when she’ll pass away, of course. I know it. I know it well. But I won’t tell yet. I’ll wait until she really displeases me.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/12/26

OH, DO YOU THINK REX MORGAN, M.D., IS BORING? WELL, WOULD ALL THIS WACKY STUFF HAPPEN TO A NON-MAIN CHARACTER IN A BORING COMIC STRIP???

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Luann, 5/11/26

So Luann has a boyfriend named “Phil” now, and sure, the strip has done a certain amount of classic Luann stuff about their relationship where its treatment is simultaneously unrealistically chaste and unpleasantly horny, but I have to admire the fact that they’re setting up a “two people in their early 20s who are dating are thinking about cohabitation” plot and they aren’t immediately getting sexually weird with it. Instead they’re making it about how Luann isn’t a functional adult, which, you know, fair.

Family Circus, 5/11/26

You notice how there’s only one of every animal kind here? Sadly, for disobeying God’s commands, Jeffy and Dolly will be forced to watch Earth’s biodiversity crumble as the last representative of each species grows old and dies. Whatever grotesque future humans descend from this brother-sister pair will have only whatever plants survived the Flood to eat — or, horrifically, each other.