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Comics archive! Family Circus

This could just be a transparent vegetable-eating dodge

Gil Thorp, 5/21/15

Oh, hey, what’s going in baseball season in Gil Thorp? Well, it seems that football superstar/baseball dilettante True Standish was goofing around during a Mudlark loss, because football is a serious sport for real men and baseball is silly game you play when it’s nice out so why bother taking it seriously, enraging actual baseball player Max Ortiz. This is an interesting variation on the typical Gil Thorp storyline, which usually involves players all too intensely dedicated to their sport of choice, but at least we have one comforting narrative element to grasp on to: Coaches Thorp and Kaz remaining roughly twenty feet away from any brewing conflict and deciding to “let the guys police themselves.”

Family Circus, 5/21/15

Ma Keane’s biggest dream was that her kids might become slightly less moronically literal-minded once they learned to read. Today, that hope has been tragically dashed.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/21/15

Aww, how romantic! Grampy and Granny are going to spend their anniversary shitting!

“CLEAN YOUR PLATE, CLEAN YOUR PLATE” the other adults cruelly chant

Family Circus, 5/17/15

That’s actually a fairly accurate visualization of the new Orion space capsule, Jeffy! I guess all that promotion NASA did on Sesame Street was money well spent. PJ, meanwhile, has the true mind of a child here: a child who has no control over what he eats and has to choke down whatever his parents put in front of him, and who dreams of revenge.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/17/15

Hootin’ Holler may be cut off from the benefits of modern society, such as electricity and running water, but is also insulated from some 21st century ills. “Of course thar’s a lot of news in the newspaper! That’s how it works!!” exclaims Snuffy, blissfully unaware of USA Today, network morning TV news shows, and BuzzFeed listicles.

Mostly Soapy Thursday

Apartment 3-G, 5/14/15

So Gabriella’s dead mom came back, turning Gabriella’s white hair black with shock, and told her … that her house was evil, or maybe Diane told her, who can say, but the important thing is that Martin’s reaction to this news is 100% hilarious. First of all, Martin’s profession, as near as I can tell, is “generic rich businessman,” so his assurance that he personally inspected their home is not particularly reassuring. “I inspected every inch of that house myself, Gabby. There are no wasteful structural redundancies or safety features that I could see. It’s extremely cost-efficient!” Then there’s his smug expression in panel two. “Heh heh, seems my beloved fiancée has been whipped into a terrified anxiety frenzy. There’s no way this won’t be a laugh riot! I gotta see this in person!”

Mark Trail, 5/14/15

So, yes, the chain of problem-solving so far has been very simple: we get fire to get rid of the beetles, and then we get the helicopters to get rid of the fire, and then we get the geese to get rid of the helicopters. Who are we going to get to get rid of the geese, though? Beavers? Do beavers eat geese?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/14/15

Yes, Sarah is an amoral creepazoid child-adult, but she’s just so cheerful about everything that I have a hard time really disliking her. “Oh, know that! I also write about how pictures make you happy or sad. Feelings, right? Feelings are things that the humans have?”

Mary Worth, 5/14/15

Today’s unsung Mary Worth hero is the guy staring down into the basket of this hot air balloon. “Christ, what a mess! I can’t believe they left this for me to clean up. What did those two do up there?”

Family Circus, 5/14/15

Thanks to all those pamphlets Daddy keeps leaving around the house, Dolly knows that fiat money inflates away the wealth of industrious savers, while specie retains its value!