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Crock, 11/26/25

So, how old were you when you learned that “stuffing” an animal actually meant that you strip its skin off and fit it over an animal-shaped taxidermy form — a mannequin, basically? I was well into adulthood, and it was recent enough that I’m still a little freaked out about it. In this scenario, I guess this means either that Yarnell was for some reason skinned and then mounted on a prone form that fit into a coffin, which seems kind of pointless, or that he was skinned and mounted on a form in some heroic pose which is being displayed elsewhere, and currently his skinless corpse is the main event at an open casket funeral, which is much more horrifying and would explain Captain Poulet’s expression. It’s also possible that I’m misinterpreting the joke and actually Crock is simply going to force his men to eat Yarnell for Thanksgiving, a holiday that the French do not celebrate.

Shoe, 11/26/25

Holy crap! Shoe finally did it! It finally acknowledged that its characters are birds! And it did it with a slam on all us mammals out here reading it. “Can you imagine having hair?” thinks the Perfesser. “Grotesque.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/26/25

Hey, did you know that at any moment Dennis might just show up at your house and passive-aggressively ask to shit in there? That’s … pretty menacing, honestly.

Marvin, 11/26/25

“Oh, so they’re doing bathroom jokes in Dennis the Menace now, huh? Well, I guess it’s time for us to do strips about Marvin puking everywhere. I don’t like it either, but we’ve got a reputation to maintain.”

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Hi and Lois, 11/18/25

Sorry, Lois. The latest Gen Alpha trend is eldermaxxing. Kids are putting on their grandpa’s clothes, and they’re so young they don’t even remember the Macklemore song so they don’t think it’s cringe. They’re shoplifting Ben Gay from local pharmacies so they can get the smell right. They’re setting off airhorns near each other’s ears so they can get into the “Eh? What’s that, sonny?” vibe. It’s happening all over the country and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ll beg for skibidi toilet or “6-7” or whatever when Chip starts demanding dinner at 4:45 p.m. so he can finish in time to doze off in front of the local news.

Archie, 11/18/25

Sure, yes, Jughead’s hat is dumb-looking, or at least extremely out of date, but here’s the thing, Reggie: he’s been wearing it, depending on how you think of the chronology, either since 1941 or the whole time you’ve been in high school together. Everyone has already arrived at an opinion about it, and probably has pretty much stopped thinking about it, years ago! What made you think this would be a successfully sick burn that would raise your clout amongst your peers?

Dennis the Menace, 11/18/25

Now, Reggie, this is a sick burn. This is genuinely the most menacing thing Dennis has said in years, in that it’s simultaneously very funny and also if he said it to me I would die inside. The face he’s making is also great! Kudos all around.

Hagar the Horrible, 11/18/25

I love that she distinguishes between “the god Baldr” and just plain Thor. I assume this means she’s referring not to Baldr’s brother, the storm god, but just some guy named Thor, maybe one of their neighbors. His face is enh but he’s extremely ripped.

Beetle Bailey, 11/18/25

Hey, now, Killer — Otto walks around on two legs and wears human clothes! He’s not stupid at all, and honestly I’m not 100% convinced that he’s a dog.

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Pardon My Planet, 11/15/25

Truly, this is a dark vision of an alternate timeline where the British won the American War of Independence and brought Patrick Henry and the other revolutionary leaders back to England to be publicly executed for treason. Pretty grim stuff from a strip that has, up to this point, had as its main thesis the proposition that “women be shopping.”

Dennis the Menace, 11/15/25

I love how everyone is just kind of scratching their chins in a quizzical way here. Is there any particular reason he’s telling this to a clergyman? Does that make it more, or possibly less, menacing? Nobody is sure, exactly.

Mary Worth, 11/15/25

Earlier this week, I made a joke implying a budding sexual relationship between Toby and a parrot. This was immature of me and I apologize. In fact, what’s happening is that the parrot is becoming Toby’s first ever real friend, which is infinitely sadder.