Mary Worth, 1/18/15
I am profoundly happy that today’s Mary Worth features a visual trope from Friday’s strip that I neglected to comment on: potato peeling. Today, this kitchen chore dovetails nicely with her inner monologue, which is even more gravid with self-regard than usual. “Some found Hanna dowdy … quiet … difficult … covered with a thick, unattractive peel. But I sliced away at that outer layer and revealed the attractive, delicious person inside, just waiting for the right man to love her. Me! I did this. God, are these potatoes fuckable or what?”
Panels from Dennis the Menace, 1/18/15
Is there any more menacing quality than a total and unapologetic lack of self-awareness?
Mary Worth, 1/13/15
Tobey often exists in this strip as someone to half-listen all glassy eyed to Mary’s expository gossip-blather, but she sure seems interested in the elder-loving goings on around Charterstone today! Maybe it’s recently occurred to her that Ian, the December to her May, is likely to leave her a widow at a young age after rage-stroking out. “Gee, Hanna found a boyfriend over at the nursing home, and she’s almost as old as he is! If I go sashaying over there when I’m, say, 55, I’ll have my pick!”
Mark Trail, 1/13/15
Is whacking a gator on the neck with a big stick an approved method of scaring it away? Sure, why the heck not. Mark has taken his time and picked up the villain’s gun quite a ways away from where the gator is, so I’m assuming that his nemesis was in fact eaten yesterday and this is some kind of advanced alligator Heimlich maneuver. He’ll be “help[ing] him out” of the beast’s gullet, presumably significantly worse for wear.
Dennis the Menace, 1/13/15
OK, I’ll admit it: the sight of Dennis and Joey leaning back in intense intestinal distress is completely delightful and funny and poignant to me, at all once. There are few things more menacing to your sense of ease than discovering that your appetites can actually outpace the capacities of your body.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/8/15
FOOLISH MORTALS! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BIND SARAH MORGAN WITH WORDS ON PAPER? SARAH MORGAN WHO IS DIFFERENT AND BETTER THAN US, SARAH MORGAN WHO BENDS THE MINDS OF MEN AND WOMEN TO HER WILL WITHOUT ANY EFFORT? WHAT MEANING DO THESE SCRIBBLINGS HAVE WHEN SARAH’S NAME HAS ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN IN HER OWN FIERY BLOOD ON THE PAGES OF ETERNITY
Not sure, which is more stupid and yet wholly believable in the context of this strip: that Mary Jane would keep her cell phone on her person while filming a movie dressed in a skin-tight superhero costume, or that Spider-Man would carry his around while doing business as an actual superhero.
Heathcliff’s owner-lady is so strict in imposing her Victorian sensibilities on all speech-capable beings in her household that they’re forced to bowdlerize even the final, terrified pleas they squeak out just before their bloody death.
Dennis the Menace, 1/8/15
Ha ha, it’s funny because
Dennis the Dennis the Menace creative team thinks kids talk to each other on the phone!