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Comics archive! Dennis the Menace

Unless it’s a limited-edition autographed Mark Trail shark!

Mark Trail, 6/30/15

OK, so, that shark that Ken was all excited to catch? Well, he wasn’t going to kill it, he’s not a monster, he loves animals just like his beloved squirrel-feeding Kelly does. Ken just wanted to best the shark in combat so he’d feel like a big man, but then he was going to throw it back. That’s why it’s super disappointing that this shark he caught is already dead! This dead shark has Mark Trail written all over it, which I assume means that Ken’s going to call in Mark to solve the Mystery of the Dead Shark, which is probably going to boil down to “Hey, uh, Ken, sometimes sharks die, you know?”

Hi and Lois, 6/30/15

“How can something that seems good to me not always be good in all cases?” Trixie will be stuck in the body of a baby, which makes her halting moves towards an adult understanding of the world all the more heart-rending.

Dennis the Menace, 6/30/15

Always the smart one, Margaret recognizes that her entire universe is built out of worn-out tropes and borrowed memes. The true menace is the crushing banality of it all.

When your dumb nickname is right on the front of your golf cart, that’s how you know you’ve “made it”

Judge Parker, 6/25/15

Well, we all know what happens when a Spencer-Driver negotiates with a rotund man daubing his head with a cloth: the Spencer-Driver gets what they want for a ludicrously low price! Personally, I’m a little sad that anyone who goes by the name of “King Speedy” isn’t in the meth-dealing business. Honestly, I’m not 100% convinced he isn’t, which, assuming everyone is convinced everyone else is speaking in code, could result in some hilarious complications by the end of this transaction.

Apartment 3-G, 6/25/15

I know I haven’t really been keeping you up to date on this, but … Lu Ann has abruptly announced she’s quitting her job and moving away? I don’t know if this is just another A3G vague plot that will go nowhere or this strip starting to unravel itself, but it’s pretty weird that Lu Ann is now talking about selling “the apartment,” since she shares and co-owns the apartment with, like, two other people. Maybe she’ll just be selling her bedroom? I look forward to seeing realtors coming through and pointing out the lovely architectural features of the single room, and glossing over the two angry women standing there staring with crossed arms. This is Manhattan, so probably she’ll barely get a million dollars for it.

Dennis the Menace, 6/25/15

Not sure if Dennis is excited about learning decades’ worth of Wilson secrets or if he just likes the idea of a demon house that can speak via horrifying, unnatural wall-mouths, but either way it’s very unsettling, A+ menacing.

How many of Slylock’s “solves” are frame-ups? THE PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW

Panel from Slylock Fox, 6/21/15

[briefly turns monitor upside down] Oh, the toad did it, did he, the short toad, because the pictures were taken close to the ground and only the toad is close to the ground … oh but wait, you know who else is close to the ground? Why, Max Mouse is, Max who magically “solved” this “crime,” who was able to find the camera so quickly, much to the swooning delight of his little mouse girlfriend. The toad stares ahead in shock, knowing that his innocence will be no defense against Slylock’s pull with the authorities; the bear glowers, seething at Slylock’s ability to use the punishing authority of the state to impress his girlfriend and fulfill his whims.

Dennis the Menace, 6/21/15

Dennis doesn’t appear to be adding any value to this chain of transactions by, say, managing the cheap labor he found, so I’m going to go ahead and deem him a labor arbitrageur and classify him as an economic menace.

Spider-Man, 6/21/15

Stan Lee is one of the co-creators of the Black Widow character, according to Wikipedia, and here he is apparently very interested in having sex with her! This is probably more revealing about the comics creative process than anyone involved really intended.