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Family Circus, 9/21/08

The only Billy-related Family Circus trope I like better than “Billy is an angry little jerk” is “Billy is a jerk and then gets his terrible comeuppance.” Where are the parents in panel one to prevent Billy from committing the ultimate birthday-related sin: blowing out the candles on a sibling’s cake? But Mommy is there to prove that revenge is best served with a scoop of ice cream: because the absolute rigidity of gender roles is enforced from birth in the ultraconservative Keane Kompound, she knows that the ultimate punishment is to force Billy to briefly entertain the thought of wearing one of Dolly’s hideous dresses. Billy’s heartbroken expression as he tears open the box, along with Mommy and Dolly’s looks of smug satisfaction, make for an excellent payoff.

Slylock Fox, 9/21/08

If you squint at the solution to this mystery, you’ll learn that we’re expected to convict Reeky Rat because the clock in his loot bag is only a few minutes behind the actual time. As if 5 o’clock only happens once and never comes ’round again! John Law is just prejudiced against Reeky because he carries his totally legitimately borrowed items around in a burlap sack. Well, that’s how they do it down at the trailer park, OK? They don’t have platinum-encrusted Kate Spade bags or whatever it is you fancy city elitists use. JUSTICE FOR REEKY!

The Six Differences panels offer a glimpse at the legendary underground film A Dog’s Life In Amsterdam.

The Phantom, 9/22/08

The not terribly interesting Sunday Phantom storyline just wrapping up here involved these tribesfolk, living on their traditional diamond-lousy lands, being held hostage by sharps from the big city before Stripey Pants helped them out. But this strip is notable for the last panel of the second row and first panel of the third, as they indicate that the title of this adventure in the Skull Cave Archives is “How the Phantom Got Filthy Rich From His Diamond Monopoly.”

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Herb and Jamaal, 9/20/08

Pity poor Herb, who’s been reduced to making a series of “funny” reaction facial expressions in his own comic strip while his doctor dishes out the “jokes.” Sure, the strip could have been recast with almost no effort at all so that it consisted of actual dialog being exchanged, by why bother when you have the option of non-stop hilarity in its purest form: a lecture from a doctor with comical hair. At least Herb got to contribute something, rather than just silently picking something up while a stranger contemplates adoption like Jamaal did earlier this week.

Ziggy, 9/20/08

Sassy mice claiming rights beyond their station might appear in any number of second-tier long-running comic strips (see for instance Garfield, 9/8-11/08). But that crooked-mouthed expression of pure humiliation and helplessness on our hero’s face? That’s the special soul-blighting value-add you only get from Ziggy.

Mark Trail, 9/20/08

“He’s a filthy animal that we let live in our house because we’re insane! He’s covered with fleas, and he steals things, and he has rabies!”

Apartment 3-G, 9/20/08

Wow, this took a turn for the depressing real fast. Uh, don’t do drugs, kids, OK?

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Apartment 3-G, 9/19/08

I suppose that eventually the Apartment 3-G Terrible Downward Spiral Of Clean-Cut Middle-Class People Into Addiction storyline will cease to be transcendently awesome — presumably, right around the time that Ray’s squirrelly histrionics cause Alan to take a hard look at his life and straighten up and fly right and earn the love of a good woman and blah blah blah — but let’s enjoy the ride to its fullest while we can, OK? It’s actually sort of like drug abuse in that way: deep down, you know that you can’t sit in your room giggling over phrases like “Please! I hurt so bad!!” forever, but that doesn’t stop you from being taken up by the highs in the here and now. Perhaps even better than Ray’s sincere yet laughable description of the pangs of withdrawal in panel two is his expression in panel three: he seems to be thinking, “Hey! I know! I could reduce Alan to a powdered form and then smoke and/or snort him! All my problems would be solved!”

Hi and Lois, 9/19/08

The idea that innocent baby Trixie might look out the window and learn about the emotional pain and verbal abuse that lurks behind her suburb’s cheery facade is actually rather poignant; her look of wide-eyed horror in the final panel says volumes about what it’s like to discover that people who love each other can wound one another far more deeply than any strangers could. But bringing in the brother-sister metaphor just makes the whole thing creepy and weird. I like my domestic degradation without the unsettling incest overtones, thank you very much.

Sally Forth, 9/19/08

Watch out, Sally! She can quote the Last Starfighter, and she rests her fingers delicately on her collarbone, Ted-style! Also, it may be an optical illusion, but it appears that she might kind of have breasts? HOW CAN YOU COMPETE WITH THAT?

Beetle Bailey, 9/19/08

Oh, Freud would have a field day with this.