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Folks! I am back from my vacation, I am tanned, rested, and ready, and I am diving back into that most beloved of all artistic mediums: the daily comics! Big thanks to Uncle Lumpy, and Turtle Carl, and everyone who contributed to the summer fundraiser (you’ll all be getting personal thank-yous soon), but for now I must dedicate my energy to urgent, pressing matters, like what’s going on in the Flagston marriage:

Hi and Lois, 8/18/25

I guess what’s going on in the Flagston marriage is that it’s crying for help! “Fix me!” screams every object in the home Hi and Lois built together, at Lois’s command. “Please!” Ha ha, just kidding, this is about chores or whatever, it’s definitely not a metaphor for anything.

Slylock Fox, 8/18/25

You know who can’t scream anymore, though? That fish, whose skeleton, picked clean, is lying in the middle of Slylock’s crime scene. Hey, did you know that some species of shrew eat small fish? Just thought that was a fun fact. I’m sure Shady’s transparent lies about the disruption of a sand sculpture contest — exactly the sort of thing that we know catches Slylock’s attention — are just his usual clumsy attempts to exonerate himself, and not a distraction from a much more monstrous crime.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 8/18/25

Since I often criticize syndicate colorists on here, I have to compliment whoever it was that made Ma Goose’s little breath clouds that particularly unpleasant shade of brown, which does a much better job of conveying how vile her morning breath is than the clichéd writing of the joke. Comics: occasionally remembering that they are, in fact, a visual medium!

Judge Parker, 8/18/25

Good news: Ever since a series of embarrassing Senate hearings in 1976, the CIA has “strongly discouraged” its agents from murdering children. Bad news: Well, I guess the second panel here has already established what the bad news is, ha ha!

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Hi all! Your comment of the week in a moment, but first, a programming note: I’ll be on vacation for the next week and change and will leave you in the hands of your favorite Uncle Lumpy. I’ll be back posting on Monday, August 18th. Be nice while I’m gone! And because Uncle Lumpy can’t bear to choose from amongst you, the following comment of the week will get two full weeks in the spotlight!

“I know somebody probably just woke her up but I’d be more interested in her as a character if Neddy waited until she was nice and cozy in bed because it soothes her to get Randy all agitated and that makes for a pleasant, restful sleep.” –Tabby Lavalamp

These runners up also will live on for eternity (or at least for two weeks):

“Imagine if when you die, you’re transported to the bardo and your entire vision is filled with the face of a universe-sized Barry booming ‘Suppose our souls are here to fulfill some grand purpose?’ I’d begging for good old Judeo-Christian Hell after that sight.” –Schroduck

“Cody has made the rookie mistake of predicating his next move on something happening in Rex Morgan, M.D. He could be well on his way to his next reincarnation before one of his half-sibs decides to respond to or even read a message that begins, ‘I am your long-lost half brother.’” –But What Do I Know?

“Why are there large ensembles of characters in every single Slylock Fox tableau? Can’t there ever be one-on-ones between characters? Every displayed panel makes the strip seem like a Fellini comic for kids.” –Bob Tice

“Herb goes full jailhouse lawyer when he gets a fix or desist notice from the board of health. Jamaal thinks; ‘Just shut up and clean the damn grease hood.’” –Hibbleton

“Cody’s on the road while he waits for a response from his half siblings. He probably should have set up his stage in an arena instead of in the middle of I-30 during rush hour, but he didn’t quite understand what ‘being on the road’ meant. It’s only a question of whether the commuters or the cops get him first now.” –Voshkod

“The lines of prejudice are already drawn in the post-Animalpocalypse world, with the hippos being profiled as lumbering and clumsy. They will retaliate by waiting until Granny and her grandson are walking by the pond in the park, grabbing them in their powerful jaws, and dragging them to a watery grave.” –TheDiva

“Today’s Slylock Fox answers the tail question: The tail comes out over the pants and under the jacket. This is perfectly modest because even when a fox is bipedal, his tail is above his butt. I’m sure a lot of information on the anthropomorphic fox tail/butt question can be found on the internet, where I will not look for it.” –matt w

“Goat kid has a modern gaming console, but has to wait until grandma is out shopping to indulge in that most popular of activities among the youth, indoor hopping on a pogo stick.” –Comrade Gordon

“It adds an extra layer of humor for me to imagine that Andy is only just coming home well after sunrise, having spent most of the night in hospital or, more likely, unconscious behind the bar. His wife is only a little curious about what happened to him, having resigned herself to the fact that he’s never going to die.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“No, no, no! Whatever else is true about Gertie, she’s not wearing bootleg Earnhardt shirts in public! She’s going to shell out the money for a decent font with a border, not this teal-and-black nightmare!” –Victor Von

“Really love the middle-distance stare Mary gives as she spits out those local beach names. I guess the Google Brain chip installation really took!” –pugfuggly

“If NOT ME is transparent, then why does his forearm partially obscure his face, even as the beach behind is fully visible? Is this consistent with the rules of phantasmoptics?” –Guts Dozier

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Family Circus, 8/8/25

The whole gimmick of “NOT ME” is that the Keane Kids say “not me!” when confronted with naughty things that they have, in fact, done. Depicting him as an actual ghost-demon tormenting Big Daddy Keane while all four of the kids are fully visible and doing other things is 100% evidence that somehow the Family Circus has, against all odds, lost the plot.

Mary Worth, 8/8/25

You might recall that the climax of the original Olive story was that Mary saved the lass from drowning, and she’s frankly been chasing that high ever since. Olive may have since taken swimming lessons, but panel two has made it clear that Mary has been Googling “new york area beaches with rip currents” because she knows she needs to up her game.

B.C., 8/8/25

Big Monogamy has clearly decided that the best way to keep polyamory out of the mainstream is by messaging in syndicated newspaper comic strips, so, uh, I guess get used to keeping track of your various partners in an elaborate Google Docs spreadsheet, everybody!