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Oddly coincident with my stewardship here at The Comics Curmudgeon, the Sunday comics are rolling out their B-Teams. Let’s take a look.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/20/09

OK, Rex Morgan, M.D. usually disappoints by dishing out endless observational chit-chat between Rex and June followed by a lot of talking on phones, and then, once everyone has lost interest, annihilating some minor character in a hail of gunfire or whatnot. Josh cites this as one factor in The Rex Morgan Problem, and I will not say him nay. But here’s a new and disturbing development — after weeks of observational chit-chat between secondary character Becka and assorted walk-ons, one of them (wildlife writer Tim Howard, and there’s fifteen minutes of my life I won’t get back) flies into an incandescent rage over a minor procedural issue in the organization of search parties. By the time we reach the final panel, we envy poor, wet, demented Pearl and Henry (oh God why me), feeling that the story that’s tormented us since June is fresh and new.

Also: “A@#SS“!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/20/09

Passing by the fact that Snuffy is himself a replacement for long-departed Barney Google, what’s with poor Micah? This is the first we hear of him — yet, as the only gainfully-employed resident of Hootin’ Holler, he must’ve been the centerpiece of the Gazette‘s business section for years. I mean, it’s not like violence and murder are going to crowd him out of the paper — the Gazette puts the Police Blotter, casualty list, and obits in agate type behind the classifieds.

Apartment 3-G, 9/20/09

Oh, and here’s Aristotle Papagoras, newly emblondened and ready for his closeup. This charlatan pusher absent-mindedly bilks disease-addled Dr. “Skully” Bryant out of his lucrative Upper East Side psychiatric practice, while thought-babbling obsessively about his junkie skank “patient.” This better end in murder, and I don’t much care who.

Crock, 9/20/09

Yes, for quite a few years now, as a matter of fact!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Mary Worth, 9/19/09

Some cops slip a spare gun in their boot for extra protection. Jason of the Argonauts lashed a Gorgon’s head to his shield and turned adversaries to stone. Confusing the two, Detective Scott paralyzes his foot.

Crankshaft, 9/19/09

Crankshaft‘s old-timey photo reminds us: generations come and go; only pain and loss endure. After that fateful game, Grimace abandoned his dead-end mascot career and opened discussions with McDonald’s.

The Phantom, 9/19/09

Long into the night, Chatu stares at his pinups and spins elaborate, violent fantasies. Not so special after all, are ya, pal?

And in other news:

Rhymes with Orange, 9/19/09

Hey lady — pills for that now, they have!

9 Chickweed Lane, 9/19/09

Juliette Burber, who bullies insecure college students and trustees, chides her mother for bullying a sales clerk. Next: Edda kicks a Cub Scout!


Hey, Josh is off for the week — if you have any trouble with the site, etc., reach me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net. You can still reach Josh at bio@jfruh.com, but expect a wait.

Uncle Lumpy

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Hey everybody! I need to begin this post by offering an ENORMOUS thanks to everyone who put money in my tip jar during the Spring Pledge Drive. I appreciate the warm fuzzy feeling, and the cash really does help me justify dedicating my time to this site instead of boring, lucrative work. Everyone will be getting individual thankses in over the next couple of days, but I wanted to give a collective thanks first.

And we should all collectively thank Uncle Lumpy for his admirable fill-in blogging and hilarious fund-raising-banner-creating. Those of you who are long-time readers can tell the tales of woe and horror from the days when I’d go on vacation and the site would not update for days and days! Uncle Lumpy spares us that nightmare and brings his own wonderful sense of humor in the process.

Now, some of you may be thinking there there is really no such person as “Uncle Lumpy,” that he’s just an alternate personality my subconscious mind has created because I’m shy about asking for money. And to tell the truth, up until this past week I hadn’t ever met him in person, so theoretically this could have been the case! But when I was vacationing in [undisclosed location], he and I met for lunch, and after a (small amount of) wheedling on my part, he agreed to let me post the pic of that momentous occasion here:

He is, as you might have guessed, a charming guy, and he even has good taste in lunch spots.

Meanwhile, in totally unrelated news, faithful readers (and crack father-daughter team) Doug and Miranda pointed out something disturbing about the current Mark Trail storyline. Check out these panels from the March 16 and April 3 strips:

You’ll note that Mark and Cherry have switched places in the photograph! This can only mean one thing: Rusty can control time and space with his mind. Hopefully he will realize the true extent of his power before the moronic villains beat him up.

And that makes for a perfect transition to the comment of the week!

“My name is Rusty Trail. You took my camera in exchange for $500. Prepare to kick my ass.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

And of course the runners up are also hilarious:

9CL: “This is turning into Rock of Love, only with ballerinas instead of skanks….no, wait…” –kalki

“In the land of Funky Winkerbean, Les Moore is considered prime husband material. As if the strip wasn’t depressing enough.” –NoahSnark

“Just try this simple test. Let’s say this woman is the mother-in-law of Edda from 9 Chickweed Lane. Have her hit Edda with a frying pan. Snrk. Not funny at all, was it? Go on, hit her again. Again. You see? It’s actually sort of tragic, seeing Edda in a crumpled heap on the ground like that. Wait, one more time. Okay, now it’s kind of funny, but it took four times to do it. One more, and we’ll stop, I promise.” –Muffaroo

“I’m pretty sure that the two criminals have recently swapped shirts. This is probably their way of throwing people off. Sadly, this is their best idea so far.” –Digger

“‘Ted is NOT an honest guy!’ Yeah, we know. Our first clue was when he claimed he found Adrian attractive.” –AmazingThor

That must be Joe. He’ll be upset when he learns the kids aren’t here … but he’ll be okay once he knows I sent them home with that nice man in the van. The guy had videogames and candy! CANDY!” –Patrick

“When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Rocky Ledge is only 27!” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“Adrian: ‘2+2=4?? That’s insane!’” –Mibbitmaker aka M

The sexy picture of Adrian on the ad is making me question my sexual orientation. I think I’m going to have to come out as a dopesbian.” –Melissa G

Out in South Dakota, LuAnn tries to milk a cow and is kicked in the head, resulting in a 20-point increase in her IQ.” –gnome de blog

“I am shocked that they would even consider eating bread products, even on vacation. That would be a crumby thing to do. Why, I would feel like a heel if I spent any dough on bread, or any bread on dough for that matter. Also, when I got home, I would be toast. I would Wonder why I did it. Wait, aren’t you SUPPOSED to loaf on vacation?” –The Restless Mouse

‘Madea Meets Blacula’ — funny. ‘Hysterical Girl Tasered’ — funny. How did this happen?? Or is it just one of those a million monkeys at a million typewriters sort of things?” –Liner Notes Danny

“This was a full day’s work for Randy. Now it’s off to brunch where a bunch of square-jawed white guys will congratulate him for his gutsy handling of his single bail-hearing and big-breasted women jut at him approvingly.” –Mischief Maker

“See, the problem is, Tommie, we can’t really tell if he’s shaking you, or if you’re just moderately surprised. You’re the girl who bobbled ‘wolf!'” –commodorejohn

I will continue and forever thank those who put money in my tip jar! And our advertisers also deserve thanks:

  • The Venetian Judgement: David Stone is the cover name for a man born into a military family. He has served in the military and has worked as an intelligence officer. The Venetian Judgment is his startling new book. “Dalton shot the bodyguard first, because that’s how these things are done…”

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