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Gil Thorp, 11/3/12

Boring as the current Gil Thorp storyline has been, it at least has kept me guessing. Mostly those guesses have been along the lines of “OK, now it’s going to be about something other than Terry Gallagher becoming a manufactured Milford celebrity more or less on the whims of two other ill-defined random dudes, right? How about … now? Or, now? Nope, still about that, huh.” But also I’m confused as to how the plot’s going to end, though I think today’s strip seems to set things up for the traditional narrative of hubris followed by destruction. How else are we to interpret the final panel of today’s strip, in which Terry is paraded about the stadium like a Celtic God in the back of a chariot, one of his women at his side (oh, he’s making out with multiple girls, FYI), receiving the fist-pumping adulation of thousands? Oh, it’s going to turn ugly for Terry Gallagher. Ugly indeed. (Just kidding, probably he’s going to just get yelled at by his makeout partners and Milford won’t make the playdowns and he’ll smile and say something wry.)

Dick Tracy, 11/3/12

Dick Tracy has been lighter on the graphic, brutal violence since the reboot, but it still has its high points! I like the fact that the little arrow-box, a classic Dick Tracy device, is being used to make sure you realize that yes, that ash-like material Sparkle Plenty scooped out from under the flames in the stove is in fact hot ash, and that right now Measles’ already scarred flesh is being horribly burned. We’ve actually seen Gertie sneaking up on him with an ax for the last couple days, so at least the exact form of horrible pain Measles is suffering has come as surprise!

Archie, 11/3/12

Ha ha, that Mr. Lodge sure does get mad at Archie! Who knows whether it’s because he’s poor or he’s ginger or he wants to touch Veronica’s lady parts or he’s just kind of a jackass, but whatever the case, we now know that Mr. Lodge thinks of Archie as a mere object, a subhuman “it,” to be destroyed without a second thought when the time is right. Enjoy your next visit to stately Lodge Manor, Archie! It will be your last.

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Crankshaft, 11/1/12

They say that if you live long enough you’ll experience just about everything, and so here it is: A Crankshaft I laughed at unironically. I think it’s Crankshaft’s look of genuine surprise in the final panel that really does it for me. What do you think he’s worried about more: that Rose found his blog, where writes hundreds of words a day alternately railing against the other members of his household and making terrible puns, or that Rose found his elaborately nesting folders of bookmarked scat porn?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/1/12

Speaking of hilarious third-panel facial expressions, what you’re looking at here is Rex’s involuntary grimace whenever someone uses the word “friend.” The concept involves spending time with other human beings, treating them as equals, listening to things they say, and trying not to look irritated — all things Rex hates, obviously. “I never thought I’d say this, but how can I get away from this guy and get back to the house with all the stripper ladies?”

Gil Thorp, 11/1/12

Gil Thorp: Still about two kids trying to make an new Irish student a superstar, for some reason, and now also about Beech Street, and how it rules, or maybe “Beech Street rules,” whatever those are! But what really grabbed my attention today is the poor young woman in the second panel, who appears to just be resting an enormous sandwich against her mouth instead of eating it. Is this her way of faking normalcy to cover up for a terrible but all-too-common eating disorder? Get help, girl!

Archie, 11/1/12

OH MY GOODNESS SOME PEOPLE SPEAK AND READ CHINESE IT’S CRAAAAAAZY

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Archie, 10/29/12

Ha ha, yes, “romantic” is a word teenagers would like to hear when discussing their supposedly happily married parents meeting up with their exes. Good conversational gambit there, Betty! You can hardly blame her, though: she’s probably already resigned to Archie choosing Veronica over her, and is now setting herself up for the long game, plotting to swoop down and win him back sometime in middle age. “So, the Andrews men aren’t sexually attracted to women who’ve had a lot of kids, eh? Time to start selling Ronnie on the joys of a big family!”

Apartment 3-G, 10/29/12

Wait, did I miss important Apartment 3-G developments, like Greg proclaiming his eternal love for Lu Ann where Margo could hear? Whatever, I’m just glad to see Margo still has her priorities in the right place. “Lu Ann can have Greg Cooper. He’s less than nothing to me, if by ‘less than nothing’ you mean ‘a lucrative client of my fledgling publicity agency.'” I’m really looking forward to putting together a “Margo is the world’s worst publicist” montage in a year or so when she abruptly decides to start half-assing another line of work.