Archive: Beetle Bailey

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Hi and Lois, 1/22/22

You have to respect the unspoken shorthand these two best pals share. If they were mere acquaintances, Thirsty would have to do a lot more hemming and hawing about how, gosh, it really is cold out, huh, and getting a little dark, wow, maybe, uh, maybe if you’re making dinner, if it isn’t too much trouble, I mean … and so on. But no, he can jump right to “I haven’t eaten since I drunkenly fucked up in some way I no longer remember at 10 am and I can’t feel my feet, help me out, buddy, will ya?”

Beetle Bailey, 1/22/22

Look, I don’t have any secret inside knowledge about how the comics are made, or about which strips are the vision of a single creative mind and which are put out by workshops where gag writers and visual artists work in tandem. All I’m saying is that I have a hard time believing that anyone would think a strip about getting your palm read would be a good idea if they were the same person who drew hands that looked like that.

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Daddy Daze, 12/17/21

Normally, I’m a big proponent of the “show, don’t tell” maxim in a visual medium like the comics, but you know what? I have zero interest in seeing twelve misshapen lumps of crumpled up newspaper stuffed inside baby clothes arranged in a circle in the middle of the floor while the Daddy Daze daddy crawls around them, interpreting his child’s incoherent babbling as Reginald Rose’s Emmy-winning dialogue. I don’t want to see that at all! I don’t even want to hear about it!

Beetle Bailey, 12/17/21

I was going to go on a riff here about how apparently we’re getting some psychological backstory on why Rocky is the way he is and ask who is that for, exactly, but then the question occurred to me: who is any of Beetle Bailey for, when you think about it? I mean I guess there are still people who jerk off to Miss Buxley, but I assume that’s a demographic that’s dying off pretty rapidly at this point. So sure, whatever, let’s get into the poverty-haunted home life that led to Rocky’s war crimes trial, might as well.

Crankshaft, 12/17/21

Ha ha, it’s funny because Crankshaft was playing Santa at Lillian’s store, but then he got drunk and passed out!

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Mary Worth, 12/13/21

Oh, man, the Wilbur-Estelle reunion doesn’t look to be a dream or a fantasy sequence, just a sad testimonial to what happens in our society when a lovely woman in late middle age who’s been unlucky in love just decides to give up. But there’s still one last line of defense, and that’s Libby, who’s going to have to resist whatever charms Wilbur brought from ALL PE7S and instead spend her evening pissing everywhere he might even be thinking about sitting. Piss, Libby! Piss with all your might!

Dennis the Menace, 12/13/21

I absolutely love how angry Henry is at this piece of furniture before he’s even gotten it out of his trunk. Like, most of us maintain a veneer of optimism about our Ikea purchases until we spread the different parts all over the floor and panic starts setting it. Not Henry, though! This wasn’t his choice, but it is his punishment. I guess I know I’m an adult because I know that whether or not Dennis hears some swears tonight isn’t the main storyline happening here, not by a long shot.

Beetle Bailey, 12/13/21

I know I said I wasn’t doing the “Sarge and Beetle are lovers” bit anymore, but the strip doesn’t make it easy on me sometimes, you know?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 12/13/21

Ah, it’s nice to see Snuffy and Doc Pitchart share a hearty, good-natured laugh! They both know that there are no circumstances under which Snuffy is going to pay his bill.