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Archive: Blondie

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The lesson is: Never try, or terrible things will happen to you

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Blondie, 3/11/18

I was going to say that this reads like someone who’s never worked in an office making jokes about what working in an office is like based on things they’ve read or seen on TV, but then I thought about “Yeah, this water won’t drink itself!” and now I think it’s someone who’s never spoken to another human being making jokes about things human beings say based on what they’ve read or seen on TV.

Mary Worth, 3/11/18

Soooo, this strip has the distinct vibe of wrapping up this storyline, and if that’s the case all I can say is wow. If there’s a lesson we’re supposed to learn here, I guess it’s that if you try to use your skills for profit, you’re a whore and you’ll be treated like one, so the best course of action is to dedicate yourself to God and His representatives on Earth, and also not ever tell anybody about the time some guy tried to rape you because who’d be interested anyhow?

Dennis the Menace, 3/11/18

Not sure what’s more menacing: that Mr. Wilson is going to teach Dennis phrases that signal solidarity with bigots without being overtly racist, or that he’s going to trick him into summoning a vast pack of hungry dogs who will devour him.

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This one’s for the ladies

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Beetle Bailey, 3/8/18

I really appreciate General Halftrack’s heavy-lidded expression in panel two here. Without this cue, we’d interpret “Egad!” as being an indicator of genuine shock. But looking at him, we know it’s muttered under his breath with mingled contempt and disgust. He’s horrified by the deviants and weirdos who serve under his command, but he’s no longer surprised by them.

Blondie, 3/8/18

Today is International Women’s Day, and a bunch of comics did strips observing it in various ways! Blondie didn’t do an explicit shoutout, but we can see that the creators have really focused on important women’s issues, like the fact that they’re terrible drivers, amiright fellas?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/8/18

“Of course, what with th’ terrible poverty an’ awful state of education in Hootin’ Holler, none of you girls are can grow up t’be lawyers or really much of ennythin’ else that call for book learnin’! That’s why yore feminist analysis has t’ take socioeconomic class into account!”

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Digestive Sunday

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Pluggers, 3/4/18

A plugger knows he’s on a restricted diet when his dog’s food starts to look appetizing, when he looks at his dog’s food and thinks, “This is how I’m supposed to eat, not with a fork and knife, not off of a plate, not wearing clothes, not living in a house.” A plugger knows the restrictions come from a decision he made long ago, when he had to choose to remain as he was or to become something different, something that was supposed to be better. A plugger doesn’t think about that decision very much any more. But sometimes he can’t help it.

Blondie, 3/4/18

Today’s Blondie, in which two icons of 20th century American pop-culture masculinity aggressively urge the protagonist to stuff himself with food until he can’t eat another bite, gives me a horrifying glimpse of who this strip is actually “for.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/4/18

Justin’s regurgatory cycle is the most interesting thing to happen in Rex Morgan, M.D., in months, so I guess I’ll just settle in and enjoy it for as long as it keeps happening. Can’t wait to see all the variations! “That’s our Justin!” [audience laughter] [everyone is splattered with vomit]